A first date should be fun, and full of the excitement of discovery in a new relationship. Not an awkward burden to be endured. Don’t make the first date the worst date, or it might be the last date.
Okay, well maybe the date in question was not the worst ever in the history of dating. I mean, nobody died, no limbs were lost, no plagues descended from the heavens and no armed coups were staged on the government. Might have been better had any of those happened. At several points I did wish for the earth to open up and swallow me whole, which didn’t happen either. Everyone has a ‘worst date’ story, and mine would probably be topped in almost any group. I say almost because I know many people who have lived pretty boring lives. Nothing bad has ever really happened to them, according to them anyway, and maybe that’s what’s bad. Boring.
That was definitely what was wrong with my worst date. Boring. It started with him picking me up and uttering one of the worst possible things. “So, what do you want to do?” Okay maybe not the worst thing possible. Not, “Hey, I have an idea! Let’s hold up a liquor store!” or “I hope you kiss as good as your mom.” But bad, yeah?
- Make Plans! Thoughtful plans that reflect you, as your date will be getting to know you. The best side of you. Don’t ‘let the evening take care of itself’. That is a fairly lazy way to go through life, and yeah, your date will notice. If you asked the other person out, make an effort.
My worst date ever actually said, “You know, if lost ten or fifteen pounds, you would be really something.” Do I even need to explain what is wrong with that.
- What anyone wants to hear on a first date: First-A sincere acknowledgement of the time they took with their appearance. Second-some sort of acknowledgement that you have been listening to their conversation and find it interesting. You could reverse those depending on who you are and who you are with. In my case a “You look lovely this evening, my dear.” has equal weight with “Damn girl! You could cook an egg!” And everyone, everyone everywhere, likes to feel understood and interesting. Make a conversational effort.
The next part of my own worst date story involved a video arcade and myself graced with the privilege of watching my date play some version of a street fighting game, making me regret my response of “oh, whatever you had in mind is fine.” He never even asked me if I wanted to play, and I like video games, though I am more into RPG’s.
- Eating is a social activity accepted the world over as not only life sustaining but a fine way to get to know the new love of your life. Or the love of the moment, whichever. If you are stuck for an idea when you ask the person out and you are lucky enough for them to say ‘yes’, ask them what kind of food they like, and set a time and date for the date. Some places are better in the evenings and some in the afternoon. Look around your area, and find the best place within your budget.
While my worst date seemed uninterested in what I wanted after the initial question, he did hit me up for quarters when he ran out. I said I had none, though I actually had about eight left over from doing laundry earlier in an effort to look good for the worst date. I suggested we eat, and I ended up paying as he had spent all his available cash at the video arcade. Or maybe he had some quarters he wasn’t telling me about stashed away, but it wasn’t cool.
- You don’t have to pay for the whole thing, but if you asked the other person out it is your responsibility to establish whether you are footing the bill or going dutch (for those of you unfamiliar with that term, it means that you both pay equally for the date.) Don’t spring the bill on them, or even half the bill, as they may be unprepared for that. As a side note, don’t expect anything in return for paying for the date unless you asked someone out who gets paid for such services. Then its fine, I suppose, but you might ask someone out whom you don’t have to pay to spend time with you on your next foray into the dating world.
- A good date doesn’t need to be expensive. A picnic in the park is very romantic, and you could follow up with kite flying or something equally as whimsical. Don’t think that you can impress with cash alone.
My worst date was actually upset when I just wanted to go back to my apartment after the meal. He was good enough to drop me off, but a little pushy with the physical affection. However, I had ten to fifteen extra pounds of muscle, and made it to my apartment just fine.
- Depending on your age, experience, background, etc., the end of the date could go in many different directions. You might just establish that you will see each other again. You might get a polite handshake, and an insincere ‘Sure, I’ll call you.’ Whether your date is eighteen or eighty-five, make sure that you listen to their wishes. If you can’t figure it out, and are of a mind to, go ahead and move in for the ‘goodnight’ kiss. You might get slapped or nervously pushed away, but hey, you might get the kiss. If you don’t get slapped, well, that brings up a whole new world of other possibilities that won’t be covered here. Just act responsibly and remember that actions hastily taken have consequences, and all that.
My last bit of advice for the first date. You have to ask that special someone out in the first place to get to the first date. That is probably the hardest step, for a lot of people, but just do it already. And you have to say ‘yes’ when they ask. Yeah, that date might end up being the worst, but there is an equal possibility that it will be the best. Good luck.