How to ease Tensions at Home

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In recent years and because of the economy in crisis, people have once again either “come home” to regroup or are staying on in the family home to get on their feet again. Even in large cities, people are taking in roommates to help ease the crunch a bit. And with everyone being in such close quarters, it brings us into another level of stress; different personalities all trying to thrive under one roof. Here are a couple of items that may come up. 

Do not assume intent onto someone’s words or actions: Each time you even start assuming a hidden intent or a disrespecting tone to the other person or to what they are doing, you are projecting how you feel at that given time onto them. These people may or may not be in the exact same emotional space you are in; usually they are not even aware of what is going on inside of your head, etc. That does not mean that a remark they made doesn’t sting, or what they did didn’t ruin your day. But there are two things that are affected: one is whether they are just absent mindedly inconsiderate, or just don’t care, etc. and that has nothing to do with you. And the next is if you they did mean to hurt you and you took the bait; that is an insecure area in your life that needs to be dealt with on your terms so you are not insecure about that subject and can respond calmly and rationally instead of re-acting insecurely. If someone accused you of being an alien from another planet, you would just respond without a lot of drama or emotion, because you know for sure you are not. But if is a hot button for you; watch out, bring on the chaos. 

Try to see the ups that are included with the downs: Within every tense situation is a way not just to work it out, but to even have a stronger bond after the fact. That is precisely why we turn to our family and close friends when we have our “big lifetime events” good and bad. These are usually the people who know us the best and vice versa; they have been there right along side us and we along side of them also. It comes along with the statement of no pain, no gain, and our more shallow relationships are easier on a day to day basis, but not quite as deep and usually drain us after awhile when we need some real human bonding and not just chit chat about the weather. That is why you don’t want to storm out in a fury, telling someone off because you are releasing your negative toxins onto everyone else. Your actions have consequences, and it’s better to take the time and patience with people you are sharing your living space with. 

Is this situation temporary? Sometimes, it is, and that fact can help you keep a better perspective because you are reminded “this too shall pass” so I had better get a hold of all of the positive aspects while I can. Conflict is inevitable when different personalities are involved; it’s best to approach it as a challenge and try to take the high road, it will teach you some things about yourself that you can use for the rest of your life.

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