Even the best of friends argue sometimes. It hurts but it happens. Sometimes you may be the one who need to apologise. So here are some simple and practical tips to get two very good friends talking again:
You need a discussion and then an agreement, not another shouting match! Approach your friend calmly and be tactful. Say your points and then listen to her no matter what it is. Remember she is angry and you are her friend so you are the one on whom she can safely burst out her anger.
You can say, “Your friendship means a lot to me and I don’t want this to come between us” and not, “I can’t believe you think that. I hate you!”
Remember to breath! However sorry or angry you are on the incidents or yourself, speak slowly and make yourself understood. Keep eye contact and don’t stare at the floor, you are not apologising to the floor.
Your apology should be an honest one and not a fake way to get out of the mess. Saying “Look I may have been wrong but you made it worse”, is not an apology. Avoid endless apologising as everyone messes up sometimes. Overdoing anything makes it look fake and acted out sequence.
Don’t expect things to straighten out right away. Arguments or fights are messy and it takes time for someone who is hurt to calm down and value your friendship again. Please respect her wish if your friend wants to avoid talking to you or about the topic, but let her know that its upsetting you. Don’t force her to talk things through as it will give rise to another argument.
Be it friendship, family members or a romantic relationship, you need to compromise for making space for the person and it should be a mutual thing. If you have argued about doing different things or having different opinions then finding a middle ground will make both of you happy. Don’t always stick to your wish adamantly. Friendship is more important than getting your way all the time, isn’t it? Remember not to moan and complain about the compromise afterwards, or you may need to read this article from the very beginning again!
Agree To Disagree
You are individuals and you are not going to argue about everything on Earth. As soon as you and your friend realizes that, you are going to get along a lot better than before. Saying “I think differently and we are allowed to be different” is a better and friendlier way of stating your difference then something devastating and arrogant like “You are crazy to think that.”
Finally friends are like that one ray of sunshine in a snow clad winter in this busy and fast world, so don’t lose them no matter what.