Brennan: I swear, I’m so pissed off at my mom. As soon as she’s of age, I’m putting her in a home.
Dale:You have the voice of an angel. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus!
Dale: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the balls!
Robert: When I was a kid, when I was a little boy, I always wanted to be a dinosaur, I wanted to be a Tyrannosaurus Rex more than anything in the world, I made my arms short and I roamed the back yard, I chased the neighborhood cats, I growled and I roared, everybody knew me and was afraid of me, and one day my dad said “Bobby you are 17, it’s time to throw childish things aside” and I said “OK Pop”, but he didn’t really say that he said that “Stop being a f**king dinosaur and get a job”.
Dale: On the count of three, name your favorite dinosaur. Don’t even think about it. Just name it. Ready? One, two, three.
Dale, Brennan: Velociraptor.
Brennan:Favorite non-pornographic magazine to masturbate to.
Dale,Brennan: Good Housekeeping.
Brennan:If you were a chick, who’s the one guy you’d sleep with?
Dale,Brennan: John Stamos.
Brennan:Did we just become best friends?
Brennan: Do you wanna do karate in the garage?
Brennan: Listen, I know that we started out as foe. But after that courageous act that you showed me against the one they call Derek, maybe someday we could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.
Dale:I would follow you into the mists of Avalon if that’s what you mean.
Nancy: You yelled “rape” at the top of your lungs.
Brennan:Mom, I honestly thought I was gonna be raped for a second. He had the craziest look in his eyes. And at one point he said, “Lets get it on.”
Dale:That was about the fighting. I am so not a raper!
Brennan:Look, I didn’t touch your drum set, okay?
Dale:I witnessed with my eyes your testicles touching my drum set.
Dale: Dad, what are you doing? It’s Shark Week.
Brennan: I’m so scared right now. I’m just gonna to do what’s sensible, I’m gonna file for unemployment. Then I’m gonna try to get a job at Enterprise Rent-A-Car, because they got an excellent corporate structure and they… *they* give *you* the tools to be your own boss.
And the number one quote from Step Brothers is…
ok, this movie is to good for just one top quote.
Dale: Boats and hoes!
Dale: Why are you so sweaty?
Brennan: I was watching Cops.
More Top 10’s
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