More and more kids are being raised in daycare or by babysitters, and families are spending less and less time truly interacting. This means that much of the time somebody other than the parent is teaching, guiding, and modeling their child. What is the quality of this surrogate parenting? What are this person’s or the business’ beliefs, principles, values, etc. to childrearing, peer interaction, and life, and how consistent are they from one person to another, and daycare to daycare? Are they the same as yours and applied consistently throughout the day, on a day-to-day basis. And then when they get home there often is no meaningful interaction. What kind of social skills, beliefs, values, and character is this child learning and developing?
Kids are not like our finances. Many parents entrust their children to be raised by someone else, the same way they give money to an investment broker to handle their money. The money you give a broker hopefully is extra money you have that you can do without, and if things fall through in the long-run you will still survive. And we rely on these people because they have the time and experience. Well, kids are different. Our kids are not “extras” that we can do without. They have feelings, emotions, and needs that cannot be fulfilled by someone just because they have the time and a degree. You are your children’s investment broker. They are your number one commodity. Do you want to hand this responsibility off to someone else?
The child under these circumstances has no sense of belonging. What does she belong to? One of the many daycare workers or babysitters she has had? The business? Meaningful, consistent, and a significant amount of time with the family produces a sense of belonging.
I have seen many professional parents who spend a great deal of money, thought, and “research” into raising their children and then don’t actually raise them. They want their child to be smart and develop to her full potential. While she is en vetro they do such stimulating activities as play classical music to her, read to her, and play foreign languages to her. The pregnant mother eats very well planned and expensive meals to ensure optimal nutrition. They put mobiles above the crib, not only to entertain, but to stimulate the little ones intellectual development. But then after the baby is only weeks old, they place her in daycare or with somebody else. They want to encapsulate or time share their child’s life into tasks and shared responsibilities. They started off doing the right thing; giving their child their time and attention. Then they withdraw their most important investments -their attention and time, and delegate the raising of their most valuable commodity – their child, to someone else. It’s as if they think that for a short period of time in the beginning of the “transaction” their child needs their attention and time, but not for the rest of their life.
Who do you want to handle the many critical aspects of your child’s development? You do have a choice . . .