If you and your partner have decided to no longer live together, depending on the reason why one or either of you moved out, you might want to think about whether or not you can still be friends. This is perhaps one of the biggest issues when it comes to moving on after living together.
If you’ve been a couple for some time, your emotions are likely to be in turmoil. You might agree that you’re great friends but you just can’t live with each other. In which case you might offer each other emotional support as you both find your independent feet again and move on. Or the relationship will be completely over and as well as looking to move on after having lived together, you will be going through the upset, strain and hurt associated with the end of your romance.
Tips on how to move on after living together ~
Once you’ve decided it is time to live apart, don’t be in too much of a rush to decide what you want to do next. You already have a whole bag of emotions to contend with and these may include: hurt, anger, bitterness, surprise, depression, jealousy or resentment. Because of this it is unlikely you will be in a fit state, emotionally, to make firm decisions for your long-term future.
Make temporary arrangements until you feel more able to cope.
Family and Friends ~
Turn to your family and friends. It doesn’t matter if this means moving back in with your parents for a short while. This might give you a chance to pause, sort out your thoughts and feelings and then decide what to do next for the best. Moving back to your childhood home is not a backward move. Sometimes it is necessary to retrace your steps, in order to move on.
Accept that it is over ~
Don’t delude yourself with the idea that your partner will want to move in together again. And don’t wait around thinking they will come to their senses and say they’ve made a mistake. This is a backward step. To move on you need to accept the situation as it is and find a way to be more independent.
Don’t regret anything ~
Whatever the cause for this change in your living arrangements, don’t spend too long dwelling on the past, thinking of what might have been and regretting certain episodes of your life. Believe that everything happens for a reason. While you were living together, you were also learning more about yourself as a person and how you handled certain relationships.
You are who you are as a result of your past experiences. See them as lessons you needed to go through in order to move forward and that’s what you truly intend to do: move on!
Be nice to yourself ~
Be good to yourself and think of things you’d like to do but didn’t get a chance to while you were living together. Join a group, take a class, volunteer to help a local charity. Start building up your life bit by bit and in getting out and about you will be making new friends and will slowly start to feel stronger and more confident, emotionally.
New relationships ~
Once you’ve accepted that it is over you shouldn’t rush into a new relationship. Give yourself time to sort out your feelings first. Once you feel ready, you might enjoy getting involved in the dating game again.
New home ~ Eventually you will start to take more interest in new opportunities and this will include where you might live in the future to find greatest happiness. When this occurs, you will know you have truly moved on.