I was originally going to put this under Holidays and Events but it is more like “Arts and Entertainment” in the comedy section.
It happened on Christmas Eve about 10 years ago and I was with a younger date that I was crazy about who was born in Greece. First, to get the full understanding of the story let me please describe him. Teddie was very funny to begin with and always made me laugh. He would say the most outrageous things in front of people. He didn’t think before he spoke.. he just spoke. For instance, he would say things in a store while we were waiting in line like “honey, look how fat that woman is?” and of course, the silent people waiting in line could hear him and I’m sure were shocked because this is a 35 year old guy saying this.. not a child. I would be so embarrassed I would turn bright red…but WAIT.. this is NOT the most embarrassing moment..Not by a long shot. Please keep reading.
Well, anyway, we were on our way to a mid night Mass in my town and were running very late. I was always late for everything. I happened to have on a pair of black stilletto dress style high heel shoes. They were actually a tiny bit big for me and my foot slid more to the front. It has snowed a little that evening and we were going to a small church that was around the corner from my house. When we arrived (late, of course) we couldn’t find anywhere to park so we had to park up the street and walk briskly to the churches front door. Our shoes were a little slippery from the snow. Teddie was getting a little impatient with my tardiness and was a bit angry that we were always late. He actually had a foul mouth and I always had to say “Teddie, please stop swearing.” So.. once we arrived at the front door we opened it to the center aisle and saw that the church was jammed with people on both sides. I noticed a bit of an empty space on the right side in a pew so I briskly walked up the aisle with Teddie not too far behind. Suddenly, my stilletto shoe flew off my foot and landed way down the aisle almost to the alter. Teddie said ” What the ****, honey….. OUT LOUD. I was so shocked not only by the shoe flying up the aisle and that I had to hop in front of everyone to go get it but that my boyfriend just swore out loud at the mid night mass. As I proceeded down the aisle to retrieve my shoe I could see from the corrner of my eye on both sides on the church people had their heads way down. They were trying hard not to laugh so that all you could hear was stiffled giggling. I never heard so much stiffled laughter in a church in all my life. When I got my shoe I turned around and walked straight up the aisle and out the church. As I walked up the aisle I passed Teddie sitting in the pew that has the limited space that we were originally heading to before the incident happened. As I walked passed him I just looked straight ahead and heard a little Greek accent whisper “What the ****, Honey?.. where are you going?”