I must admit that I was wrong at my own impression of having no interest on the new movie Star Trek. In my top ten movies of 2009 listed in my blog, I included this movie not because I have the impression that it is a good movie. The decision of having it on the list was influenced by some other factors including what I’ve heard from other people or what I have read in the news. But after having watched the movie that kept me fisting my pillow, I conclude that Star Trek is indeed one of the best movies of the year.
There are a lot of things that I have learned from it. It is of course a science fiction, so I have got to welcome new possibilities of exploration in the field of science. But what deeply absorbed in my memory are the things that are more important than the scientific aspects of the movie.
James and Spock, the two main characters of the movie represent the two sides of me as a person. James is a freewill free-spirited person. He does things he wishes to do. He says whatever he wishes to say without thinking too much of its consequences afterwards. The rules of logic are just the least of things he may consider. Sometimes, his actions are driven by how his emotions carry him. More often, James lives a free life without certain direction.
On the other hand, a half human half Vulcan Spock is a character who possesses nobility on some areas that he does well. He experienced being emotionally compromise but he chooses to seal it with his invulnerable stature. Thus any emotional involvement is his least consideration. In one scene of the movie, Spock said “the only emotion I wish to convey is gratitude”. It was perhaps intended to mean that single encounter with the bandits, but it actually tells a lot about him. All throughout the movie, he speaks from his head and not from his heart. He is like a robot with no clue of emotional interference as depicted in his tone of voice. Whatever things he would say or do, it is always based on logical analysis. He even rejects the notion of the possibility that he sometimes fails. He said “if you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains however improbable must be the truth”. Though poetic in structure, when he said this he was not accentuating any particular matter involving the emotion. It is a strong statement that defines his true character who believes that there is always a solution to every problem.
Like Spock, most often I prefer to use my head over my heart when taking decisions involving my family and my relationships. I have never had a serious relationship in my life. The seriousness I am referring to is the openness of the relationship. Openness is a sense when I was supposed to be submitting some trust with my partner. I chose to keep my problems to myself. None of my girlfriend knew any of my problems. There were only few instances when I gave myself to express the true volcanic feelings I have. But after every time I did that, there was always this feeling of fear of betrayal. I was so afraid that they might manipulate me with y own weakness.
I went home last month. There was fiesta but that was not entirely my intention of going home. There were just so many issues of my past that I wanted to settle by confronting my parents and all those people involving some destruction of my childhood experiences. But during the whole during of my vacation, I displayed myself as if I was a noble person with no mark of any guilt. I pretended everything was okay. I pretended that I can solve my own problems and that my past experiences of heartaches no longer matter. Seeing me grow out the abyss of trials, I was an invulnerable person in their eyes.
As free-spirited as James, I do lots of decisions without any logical reasons. Sometimes, I am impulsive on my own judgments. I prefer to do things my own way. Lots of people, even some of my friends and colleagues do not have confidence in my capacity. It is very ironic because emotions that I cannot display at home are the ones visible to these people. In everything that I do, as much as possible I tried to enjoy it. Even those things that I was forced to do, I tried to see the bright side of it to enjoy. But unfortunately, people don’t find me as a serious person.
As they continue to explore their Final Frontier, the space, Spock freed his circling emotions and savoured the joy of it. Still, James did things his own preferred ways but with the right attitude, and he finally resumed as the new captain of the star ship. In the same way with the movie, I am hoping that my own Spock and James would befriend each other in the near future.