Have I sinned? Yes, I did a lot but am so thankful that God did not see sin on me. What He had seen in me is Christ, who is setting on the very corner of my heart. I am weak because I am human but with the assuring love of Christ in me, I able to stand from my fall. I could not say that I always won temptation; I rather say that Christ had won my fight and struggle in life.
There are many or even a fellow Christian had been judging me through all my failures in life like unsuccessful life project or unfulfilling dreams. They said, “Oh! You are lack of prayer, Oh! You are not faithful to God, and etcetera.” They never know that it hurts my feelings that it hurts my spirit. Anyhow, I only tell God that, “Lord, they don’t know what they’re saying, sorry.”
As human being, sometimes I have concluded that people are judging other through achievements in life. If all your prayers are answered they will say, “Really you are faithful, or oh! Surely God hears your prayer because you are faithful.” That’s good, not bad at all. However, with that manner, what if trials come to their lives? Are they going to say that God has forsaken them? I am so thankful that I know God different from their learning about Him. I ask God that I hope someday, these people will also say some encouraging words, and not a judgmental phrase.
Like a song that says, “He never said, you’ve only saw sunshine, He never said, they’ll be no rain. But He only promises a heart that full of singing.” Yes, there are many dreams that I have, which had not been fulfilled but I never think that am not faithful or God do not listen on my prayers. God says, “For I know the plans I have for you. “ declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11. That was my stronghold to God, His plan for me. My plan is not His plan; therefore I should be waiting because He said. Matthew 24:35 – Heaven and earth shall pass away, but my words shall not pass away. What a promise. Well, as human being you will cry on your failures. That’s alright. It hurts when you fail, you know. But what matters most is you attitude towards such failures. Learn to accept.
“I cried because I have no new shoes, until I saw a man who has no right foot.” Tears? Is it bad when you let your tears run on your cheeks? Definitely, no! Because even Christ cried. John 11:35 What would you do when you don’t get your wants? Are you going to complain or murmuring, or if not even come into blaming God? Why God, oh Why God?
Base on my personal experiences, feeling distress over your unsuccessful dreams in life is natural. If you have question like why that comes to your mind can be expected, it’s because you are normal. For me it is not bad. However, before you reach into blaming God try also to look around you. What life is trying to show you? What are they things in your surrounding, the people’s life, their sorrows, and compare yourself to them. Are they not suffering floods like what happened in Manila or even to the other side of the world? Have you seen people who are begging on the street, sleeping along the street, with no family, and no homes to shield them from rain or sunlight? Count your blessings, instead. You are not begging, you have comfortable sleep in your house, you are healthy, you have work and anything God provides your need. Most of all you have families; your family in flesh and family of God. How lucky I am. It‘s okay to cry when you feel like crying, but never ever blame God. God is too right to be mistaken, God is too good to be unkind, when you don’t understand, when you don’t see his plan, when you can’t trace His hand, Trust His heart. (Bible)
Walking with God is not always like in the bed of roses. And yet, the comforting truth about Jesus is that you have a singing heart. You have hopes and strength to fight a good fight in life. When my dreams are shattered, it made me cry. Yes, really but am so thankful to the Lord Jesus because He still make my mouth sings praises for Him. I feel sorry because I am human but I only trust His Heart, for I knew He is always faithful, despite of my unworthiness. If I ask why, I only tell myself, “Father knows best.” It is already proven through the testimonies of other Christians, Job, Mary Magdalene, through the thief on the right side of Christ, King David and many more saints.
All I can say is, “Jesus is still working on me.” He always worries about me and He loves me.
I Timothy 6:12 – Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called