How to Know Why People Stay In An Abusive And/Or Controlling Relationship

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1. Believing the Lie.

The person that stays in this type of relationship believes the lies that the abuser tells them and that type of person is constantly trying to fix the relationship. John 10:10 The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have (it) more abundantly.” If someone continually tells you something long enough, you eventually will begin to believe it. That person is always trying to fix the relationship. The abuser has told that person for so long that it is “ their fault.”

2. No Vision.

The person that stays has no vision. He/she does not realize that although there is no perfect person, God has a perfect person out there just for him/her. That person is so busy trying to fix the relationship that they miss Mr. or Ms. Right. That person ignored the warning signs while dating. The data was right in front of them, but they chose to ignore it. Now that person makes excuses for the abuser saying, “he hits me because he is frustrated from work.” When in reality that person does not realize that love does not hurt. That persons does not see that nothing will ever be enough for the abuser.

3.Brainwashed and Alienated.

The person that stays has been brainwashed and alienated from family and friends. That person has been led to believe no one will help them, no one else wants them, and no one will treat them better than their abuser. That person does not realize there are people, friends, and relatives that are able more than willing to help.

4. Give Up.

Eventually that person’s spirit is so low that they just give up. His/her spirit has been beaten so long that he or she feels there is no hope. Physical abuse is visible to the outside world, but the emotional scarring and pain on the inside of the person is not readily visible to other people.

Tips: If you have had enough, get out.

If you are a friend or loved one of a person that is in a relationship, be sure to be there for them when they decide to get out.

Do not condemn or judge that person, he/she already feels bad.

If you are a believer, show them God’s word, because it is alive and sharper than any two-edge sword.

Merry Christmas and remember the reason for the season.


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