Kenny Powers: Sure, I’ve been called a xenophobe, but the truth is I’m not. I honestly just feel that America is the best country and all the other countries aren’t as good. That used to be called ‘patriotism’.
Terrence Cutler: When I heard you were gonna be subbing here I almost lost my mind.
Kenny Powers: Well that’s good for you.
Terrence Cutler: There’s something you need to know, Kenny. You’re not the only athlete here at Jeff Davis. I happen to be training for a Triathlon right now. Doin’ a lot of running, and cycling, swimming. Well you know all about that.
Kenny Powers: No actually I don’t. I do SPORTS. Not try to be the best at exercising.
Kenny Powers: I’m the man who has the ball. I’m the man who can throw it faster than f**k. So that is why i am better than everyone in the world. Kiss my ass and suck my d**k… everyone.
Kenny Powers: When my ass was 19 years old, I changed the face of professional baseball. I was handed the keys to the kingdom, multi-million dollar deals, endorsements. Everyone wanted a piece of my sh*t. Just a man with a mind for victory and an arm like a fu*king cannon. But sometimes when you bring the thunder, you get lost in the storm.
Kenny Powers: But a true champion, face to face with his darkest hour, will do whatever it takes to rise above. A man fights, and fights, and then fights some more. Because surrender is death, and death is for pussies.
P.E. Kid: When you did steroids, did they make your balls shrink?
Kenny Powers: Oh, you think that’s funny? How ’bout I show you my balls right now and you can tell me if they shrunk, huh? No, for your information, I have full-size balls. Next question.
Timid Kid: My dad said you ruined baseball.
Kenny Powers: You know what? I can already tell that I don’t like you. And I’m probably not gonna like you no matter how many pull-ups or push-ups you do. All right, anybody who wants to pick on anybody in class, aim for him, ’cause I’m not watchin’.
Kenny Powers: A lot of people ask me, ‘Kenny Powers, you’re a giant superstar. You can get any woman. Have you ever paid for sex?’ And the answer is yes, I have. Several times, in fact. And it’s actually kinda cool. You can negotiate practically anything and sometimes, even just kind of do stuff in the moment that you never agreed to pay for and it goes by without much argument.
Kenny Powers: Fu*k man, I’m a bulletproof tiger, dude!
And the top Kenny Powers quote is….
Kenny Powers: You’re fu*king out!
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