How to be the perfect wife
By Mr Ghaz, 4, January 2009
How to be the perfect wife
The relationship between the spouses is not confined to a relationship of a leader and subject. In fact there are two aspects of this relationship; one of leadership and the other of love and attachment. Attending to both rights are indispensable. Husband should act like a leader whilst the subject should live like one. Don’t fall into injustice and cruelty.
The Conjugal Relationship
Every single thing has its boundaries under various circumstances. Don’t consider the women to be weak and helpless thereby inflicting injustices upon them. A king who exercises his authority over his subjects is quite acceptable.
However, cruelty and injustice can never be tolerated. Her, a conjugal but their relationship is double-faceted; a relationship of leadership and relationship of love.
Man and Woman Need One Another
Another point of similarity that comes to mind is that just as a person is unable to forbear with a lack of clothing over his body, similarly a man and woman are unable to forbear with the lack of each other’s company brought about by marriage.
Not only do they need each to fulfil their carnal desires, but she is in need of her husband for his assistance etc. and he is in need of her service and comfort etc. During illness, nobody can serve the husband like a wife would.
After the death of his first wife, an eighty-year old man decided to marry a second time. He had many daughters-in-law who prevented him from re-marrying on the grounds that they were there to serve him. The old man has adamant: “Nobody will be able to serve me like a wife would”.
The Husband and Wife Adornment for One Another
Another point of resemblance in the simile “Women are clothes for you and you are clothing unto them,” which comes to mind is that one of the characteristics of clothing is that it conceals. Similarly, women are a source of concealment for men and vice versa. In other words, they are a screen for each other’s faults and shortcomings.
Although clothing was not explicitly referred to as adornment in this verse, the outcome of adornment is mentioned. And that is words “which covers your shame”. In other word, we have created such clothing for you which conceal your inelegance.
In short, just as clothing is a source of adornment, the wife is a source of adornment to the husband and vice versa. The husband’s adornment lies in his wife in a sense that a man with a wife in a sense that a man with a wife children holds a degree of esteem in society.
The wife’s adornment lies in her husband in a sense that people won’t normally cherish evil thoughts about her.
Both of the husband and wife enjoy individual ownership of their respective possessions. It is cruel of the husband to utilize his wife’s goods without his satisfaction. By satisfaction we mean that there are very persuasive signs which convince one that the owner is totally satisfied and cordially happy.
The reality of “permission with the happiness of the heart” is that the second person also has the ability to refuse. In other words, at times the person from whom permission to utilize a certain item etc. is being sought, is unable to refuse. Hence, his permission is not really considered as satisfaction and happiness of the heart.