Greatest Sex Picture in the History of Sex Pictures

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Now, Hollywood-Universal-MGM films presents the Greatest Sex Picture in the History of Sex Pictures. Before the sex picture is actually presented, however, a bit of background music is necessary. Readers, please hum the opening bars of the theme music to the movie “2001 – A Space Odyssey”, by Stanley Kubrick. Start with the solo trumpet voice in your mind, and then bring in the dramatic attack by the full orchestra, followed by the riveting, unforgettable timpani. Ba-Boom-Ba-Boom-Ba-Boom-Ba-Boom.

When it premiered in Paris, the Greatest Sex Picture in the History of Sex Pictures drew tens of thousands. Riot police were called to break up fights that quickly erupted. 83 people were taken to the hospital after being injured. The Parisian paper Le Monde raved about it: “This kind of Sex Picture only comes along once a century.” Pravda wrote, “The Greatest Sex Picture in the History of Sex Pictures caused riots in Moscow!” Reuters called it obscene.

The Greatest Sex Picture in the History of Sex Pictures has been banned in China, Japan, Britain, Germany, South Africa, Saudia Arabia, Chile, Brazil, and Cuba. 

And now, for the formal presentation of the Greatest Sex Picture in the History of Sex Pictures, a picture that goes beyond all other sex pictures in the history of sexual visual display. An artistic feat unparalleled by previous generations, it is stunning and magnificent in scope. The curator of the New York Museum of Modern Art called it “Breathtaking”.

Members of the audience, hold your breath no longer. We now present the Greatest Sex Picture in the History of Sex Pictures:

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