Sunday, December 17

The Top Ten Odd Things I Found in My New Home

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10. Bucket of lime green goo
While cleaning the upstairs portion of my new home, I came across an old ice cream bucket, neatly stored in the hall linen closet. Inside the bucket was a lime green, partially congealed goo of some sort. I was tempted to smell it, but opted not to for fear of nose hair melt down. Was is the last of a bucket of cleaning solution from the previous owners? Or was it just one of those mysteries that I really shouldn’t ponder?

9. Hockey puck
My new bedroom is huge. It could be mistaken for a hockey practice arena. It’s over 19 feet long, with a window cove area at one end that could easily serve as the goal. With two wild dogs, I’m not against some play in the house, but I’m not sure about hockey. To my surprise, I found a solid black regulation hockey puck hiding in my new bedroom closet. Obviously the previous owners decided the room was a good place for hockey practice!

8. “Welcome to Our Farm” decoration
My new home is officially located in the center of a city of over 80,000 people. I am no where near barns, pastures or crowing roosters. But, there at the end of the upstairs hall, I was greeted with a fun house shaped wooden decoration. It reads, “Welcome to Our Farm.” My mother would be proud. She, a farm dweller and rooster owner, can appreciate these found gifts. I think I’ll hang it in the guest bedroom for her visits.

7. Garbage bag of plastic tumblers with cows on them
Being the more slender one in the couple, my boyfriend asked me to peek in the dormer above our new garage. Carefully maneuvering the pull-down steps and small hole opening to the dormer, I embarked on yet another storage area in our new home. To my surprise the previous owners had left us the perfect bag of supplies for future parties. A garbage bag of plastic tumblers with cows on them awaited my inspection. These will defiantly be used at the next gathering that involves a keg.

6. Christmas ornaments
The new home isn’t new at all. While sweeping under the radiators (yes, we have a boiler!), we unearthed some aged Christmas ornaments. By the faded look of the fabric style Christmas ball ornaments, they had been under those radiators awhile. Sorry Santa, but they won’t be on the tree this year. I’ll opt for something new and shiny!

5. A sock
I was told a random sock was also found under the radiators. I’ll have to keep an eye on those radiators. Between the sock munching radiators and the mysteriously disappearing socks in dryerland, we might have cold feet this winter!

4. Children’s school photos
I decided to clean the kitchen cabinets, drawers and floor my first night at the new house. Tucked in the back of one of the kitchen drawers were a few wallet sized photos of freckle faced kids. I wondered if they used to live there. Maybe they used to be displayed on the refrigerator? Maybe they are someone’s relatives? They are the mystery children, still tucked away in the kitchen. I can’t throw away pictures!

3. Cute hair clips
My new bathroom came supplied with hair clips! Thank you previous lady of this home, but I don’t think I’ll be re-using your hair goodies. They are cute, sitting in my garbage can.

2. Ladies bottom garment
We tackled the basement the other day. After scrubbing the bathroom, I moved on to a utility room. The small space has an electrical box and a large sink. After disinfecting the sink, I noticed a rag tucked in the corner. As I grabbed it to throw into the garbage box, I noticed it was a silky fabric, and not a cotton towel. As I flung it into the garbage, it appeared to have a leopard print, and looked like a ladies garment of some sort. I didn’t go back to inspect. I immediately doused my hands with disinfectant in my newly cleaned sink.

1. Men’s boxer shorts
I am an idiot. They were in a pile to be moved with the dust pan. After sweeping the small garbage into the dust pan, I figured I’d just grab the big stuff and put it in the garbage. As I walked to the garbage with my full dust pan and black fabric bundle, my boyfriend laughed that he had found some boxer shorts. As we joked about it, I asked where they were. As I realized what I held in my hand, I noticed the word “Hanes.”

Back to that sink…

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