A Nature Party MP has been suspended from the House of Commons for being incoherent, and “doing it on purpose”. While accidental or professional incoherence in an MP are possibly a prerequisite Lucy Mayers MP for North town South announced she was going to talk complete an utter nonsense in the House for “as long as it took” in order for her Butterfly Sanctuary bill to get a hearing.
While talking nonsense was said to be Miss Mayers right, the Speaker of the House suspended her for “gross misconduct”, and said that until a formal apology was received from her to all in the house she would not be allowed through the door. When asked why she took this action Miss Mayers replied “the stone is in my pocket, it cannot be said their are no pigeons on the horizon” asked if she would make the requested apology she replied “Nelly is not in, and how many times does it have to rain before we get an umbrella?” Attempts have been made by us to contact someone who might be able to translate but the expert in question explained his “availability had gone while riding his horse into town”. We did however contact a speech therapist who warned that if Miss Mayers continued along this line “she may get to the point where she cannot stop”.
This office has been buzzing with suggestions with regard to any apology Miss Mayers may Impart our favourite of these being the following.
“Please do not assume I am wrong in my rightness, while my horizon is still the same I cannot condone my dark cloud in the sunny sky, we are all different pebbles on the beach and I would not want to offend even those that are covered in oil.”