BRIEFLY ABOUT MARRIAGE
BRIEFLY ABOUT MARRIAGE_PART ONE
Pre- Marital Preparations and Godliness of Marriage
There is always so much excitement when one is about to get married, but there is so much disappointment when one is already in marriage.
The main reason why one get so much excited to get married is or are the highest expectations which are somehow built and planted in his or her mind before he or she gets married or it must be the type of the partner to be.
The highest expectations are the proof that one has designed and made a marriage his or her own way.
Even though the term marriage is defined as union or combination of a man and a woman as husband and wife;
The real fact is that marriage is like entering in a strong tower which is the house of the Lord in which whoever gets in and stay under its roof is safe based on keeping its requirements.
Neither the male nor the female partner is the marriage or already in marriage, both are still to enter into it and stay under its rules and regulations.
The huge mistake that is done by the most people is that they regard the partner or the home and the family of the partner as the marriage.
Marriage is as good as putting the Word of God into actions;
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24; Mathew 19:5; Ephesians 5:31
When entering into marriage, people are entering into a permanent covenant whose owner is God himself. They are making themselves the members of this house or home or covenant.
The failure to conform to the internal law which is none other than LOVE causes people to come in and out of it and disseminate the lies that marriage is hot and difficult to handle.
They say that because they come with a set of rules and regulations to apply unknowingly against the owner of the house (marriage).
They come with the aim of handling it instead of being handled by its law which is love. Whenever you see someone coming out of this house (marriage) is because he or she cannot meet the full measure of law which is LOVE. It is as good as s/he does not have love.
It is advisable that one who wish to stay in a marriage for God purpose of making it should not expect and design in his own heart, mind and feelings how it will look like when he is already in it, but to get ready to be shaped by the word of God in order to comply with law which is love or God himself.
The simplest way to stay in a marriage for good purpose and not set by either of you is to keep the law.
Get yourself ready to be changed in order to make a change.
Some of the people may make it using their own set of rules and regulations, but destination of everything is not what it is supposed to be, which is Love or God himself.
People in it(marriage) may be shaken, but it remains as it is after the people have come in and out of it.
And again, marriage is like someone who undertakes to do a profession which automatically becomes his or her bread of life. And there is no one who can practice a profession without have suffered/ trained for it for certain period of years for example, 7 years for doctors. When the course is over, he practices the profession under the Council for the doctors. And as he practices, there are now and future benefit waiting for him. The now benefits could be praise and appreciation by other people, monthly income, promotions and the future benefits could be the lump sum of money when the time to rest comes (retirement).
The wife becomes a wife in her childhood or girlhood and she is trained by her parents to become a mother as she grows under training and regulations in this family. When she becomes matured enough, she gets married to become one with her husband, and then she practices the life of being a wife under the COUNCIL of God’s Word, and as she practices , there are now and future benefits. The now benefits are the blessings stored in each level reached after a certain struggle; and the future benefits is the promise to have eternal life. The marriage which is registered in the COUNCIL OF MARRIAGES which is the Word of GOD and then obey the same Word of God will survive the tests of time and it will end in peace with God,
but the one that isn’t won’t end in peace with God.
Therefore you can not design the way which the course you are going to undergo should look like, but the course should design you, and when the course has designed you, then you are able to design and make a change in life.
The Base For The Unshakable Bond Of Marriage
The marriage resembles its maker God therefore:
♥ When the man and a woman have combined as a man and wife, they make an unshakable bond or a bond that never fails. “Love never fails…” 1 Corrinthians13:8).
♥ It is kept going by the knowledge of Love/God. “Whoever does not love does not know God because God is Love.” John4:8
♥ To stay longer and for good in marriage, one must have only one imperishable or unending debt which is Love. “Let not debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another,…”Romans 13:8
Fundamental Points Before Marriage Covenant Is Made.
There is a lot of suffering that people go through unnecessarily due to the fact that they do things without knowing;
What they are doing? ;
And why they are doing those things?
Therefore it is essential that one knows the :
♥ Meaning of marriage, and the
♥ Reason why he is getting married.
You must have God’s reason of getting married.
You must also have God’s reason for marriage.
- Complete the incompleteness of life.
…“It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him” (Genesis2:18)
So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said,
“This at last is the bone of my bones and the flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man” (Genesis 2:21-22)
- Re-Establishment of oneness or unity that once was, and to avoid sexual immorality.
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, the Word was God…All things were made through him, and without him was not anything made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. John1:1-4.
So they are no longer two, but one flesh…Mathew 19:5; Genesis 2:24.
“…It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman. “But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should his own wife and each woman her own husband. 1 Corinthians 7:1-2, 8
- Fill out the universe with the images of God, be successful and to establish kingdom that resembles the one in heaven.
…Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over everything that moves on the earth.
Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Mathew6:10
Within Marriage Requirements _ Man
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
Husbands should love their wives.
Every definition of real love should be dominated by care or maintenance, development and construction and protection. The shield should be the first to experience hardships before what is being protected experiences it as well.
The husband should love his wife to an extent that he is ready to give himself up for her. He should develop and maintain her happiness in all the way possible from the deep of the soul to the outer part of life which is exposed to people. The children should have their own newly developed love, not that the love for the wife is shifted to them.
Within Marriage Requirements_Women
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the LORD. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Saviour.
Whatever you do as a wife for or to your husband, you should do it as to the Lord. In other words you are lucky to gauge yourself how you treat and act before the LORD God through serving your husband. It helps you as a wife to take a level whereby you will feel inner joy and happiness that does not end within your marriage if you passed a test of seeing , treating and behaving to your husband as to the Lord himself.
Keep your head happy so that the whole body will feel the same way. At this point whatever difficulty you experience in your marriage will be as good as difficulties you would experience when you are alone, therefore you will feel that there is no need to run away from and disseminate lies that it is hot in the marriage. The hotness of the marriage is hotness of the whole body which brings us to the point that if you try to run away, you will take along that heat wherever you go.
You will never see the Kingdom of God if break the Word of the Lord which says, “Whatever therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Mathew 19:6
Understanding The Whys And Whens Of Pain.
The only problem with the pain is when you are suffering and not knowing why you are suffering otherwise if you know why you suffer and when is your pain going to go away, you will be able to handle the pain until it is over.
If you are experiencing labor pain you would not go to any doctor, you will cry, but the more the pains is the more you expect to deliver. There is no test that last for a life time, but the lack of knowledge about why the pain comes and when will it go is the main reason why people give up before pains are over. If they were the food, they would come out of the pot before they are ready to be served as stew that brings family happiness and togetherness. Whatever stand the test to point where the test is over, they will not experience that kind of a test any more in their life.
Pain Lengnth , Why and Who Are You With As You Go Through It.
“I know your tribulation and your poverty (but you are rich) and the slander of those who say that they are Jews and are not, but are a synagogue of Satan. Do not fear what you are about to suffer. Behold, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and for ten days you will have tribulation. Be faithful unto death, and I will give you the crown of life.Revelation2:10
Beloved, do not be surprised at fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. 1 Peter4:12; Hebrews 12:7
Where Will I Be when The Pain Is Over?
And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 1 Peter5:9-10
When you have made marriage vows, you have automatically entered yourself within the walls of the Kingdom of God which its adversary is devil.
What to expect in the marriage is same as what one who has faith in the word of God should expect, therefore you are obliged to fight to the point of shedding your blood for your life commitment to the word of God, because if you fail, you are already living and fattening yourself for pain that will never end.
Real love will never die.
Love is eternal, and love is free and unconditional; if love is unconditional, then you have to love under all conditions that go along with it.
If the condition is for example, a cold weather, then
you have to love from the point of cold to the point of freezing up.
If the condition is hot, then
you have to love to the point of melting or to the point of becoming ash as long as you know your redeemer lives. At the climax point is the beginning of life eternal without any adversary.
Continue to love when you are not loved back.
Continue to love when you are made to go through life threatening condition up to the point where you break through to the side where there is no more pain and crying.
Continue to love when your partner is cheating and have abandoned you.
Continue to love when you are no more satisfied sexually.
Continue to love when the family of your partner is against you in everything.
BRIEFLY ABOUT MARRIAGE _PART TWO
The most sources of problems that arise within marriages are caused by the couples getting into marriage without understanding what they are doing.
It is a fault of thousands that they form or build their marriages on the bases of their feelings, needs, expectation and
other people’s /relatives reasons, how rich they or how poor they are in other instances, some are escaping sexual immorality which is not bad anyway and so forth which is not actually the reason for marriage, the end and or the failure of which result into a miserable life in marriage and even into a divorce sometimes.
Marriage is one of God’s requirements and or recommendations for the people to get into and it is simply the Word of God in action
(Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone, I will make a helper suitable for him.”…
…For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
Genesis 2:18, 24),
which means that one has to be borne of God before s/he gets into marriage.
Marriage is not a problem for anyone, but the problem becomes as a result of people creating their own bases and reasons for it while God is having other reasons
(spiritual off springs).
Other than anything or any reason such as:
◦ To be taken care of by your partner.
◦ To be financially supported by your partner.
◦ To be loved by your partner.
◦ To take the status of your partner( e.g. Pastor, Chief, Mayor etc)
◦ To satisfy your sexual needs.
◦ To get yourself somebody who will nurse you when the days when you cannot nurse yourself come.
◦ To please or follow the instructions of your relatives or friends.
◦ Peer pressure.
◦ To get married just because your financially able.
God (LOVE) expects himslelf to be the reason for the existence of this marriage. Not that you do what God recommends you to do or requires to do to get married, but on the bases of your own agenda.
There is nothing wrong and difficult with marriage. Marriage is as simple as a compulsory narrower gate which leads the married couples to God especially those who are called by his name; which means, failure to go through this gate when both partners are still alive, is the failure to get to your father in heaven or is the failure to maintain the presence of the LORD or is the failure to keep the fact that GOD = LOVE. Where there is separation, there is no GOD, because marriage should be kept alive by GOD (LOVE).
In most of the cases, the things or the factors which are labeled by people as causes of difficulties in marriage, are actually the things which are brought into marriage covenant by either of the couples. These are the things or factors which either of the married couples fail to undress /unclothe themselves of before they are or when they are in marriage covenant.
The list of personal agenda/needs mentioned above becomes *self created problems* within marriages because the people use to come with this list of things into marriage; And they are very much obsessed with these things in such an extent that if these things of theirs don’t come into effect, that marriage is dead.
Coming with this list of things as your personal agenda and expectations for the marriage, makes you( either wife or husband) to be program director of the marriage of which GOD himself is the One and Only director of this marriage.
There is actually no problem with the marriages, the problems become as a result of the partner failing to meet the before and inside marriage requirements and tests which are set for strengthening their marriages and their faith in God.
When tests and trials and tribulations come, is not the time to fear and run away, but is only the time to raise the standard above that of them. When they come, they prophesy about your next level.
◦ It is possible for any Christian to feel God through patience,
◦ It is also possible for the most of Christians to experience the power of God through perseverance, but
It is not that easy to see God face to face without endurance based on faith in GOD (LOVE).
If you do not understand what I mean, you better understand the situation (fire) of Abednego, Meshack and Shadrack before they can see God.
If you still do not understand, you better listen to what Stephen says he sees as he is enduring the rain of stones on his body.
Ask Jesus what was he feeling as he was saying,
”Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing to me”
Consider God’s reasons for marriage, consider God’s requirements for marriage before you think of anything.
Christian outside marriage may survive upon patience and perseverance, but endurance is main and the must have requirements for the people who think they are ready to get married even though that won’t apply so much to all of the marriages, but it is a major risk not to have endurance as a basic requirement within marriage.
LOVING HIM OR HER THROUGH TO GOD
The main and common purpose for marriage for all people must be to be offer or deliver or pass on LOVE(God) to the partner to the point where both shall meet for life. Let LOVE be the spear that pins you all together for life. When the spear pins you together you will continue to be one even during the days when you feel like taking a decision which you will regret after some time.
Even when I am not satisfied with anything, I can not go away from you or make you go away from me because spear or sword is keeping us together as though not as we will but as He (LOVE) will.
What does the term meet means?
Meet means there are two different objects on different positions and states which need to come together. If these objects have to come together, that means there is a distance that needs to be done away with between them, or if it is the wall, that wall needs to be destroyed.
What could be the wall or distance?
Before God, there is a big distance or wall which is earth. Earth is your flesh. Your flesh is the field where anything evil is able to accumulate. How dirty a person is, determines how much dirtiness has he or she attained from the earth.
Personal needs on the bases of which people build their marriages which have been mentioned above, earth or flesh is their place or domain where they can come alive.
How evil a person is, can be seen or can take place in the flesh. God (LOVE) who is in the form of HOLY Spirit who dwells within you is your heaven. And before one gets into this heaven or GOD, the LOVE, he first has to go through the clothing flesh which contains all this dirtiness until reaching out to the real LOVE which enclosed within.
Love never fails.
If the kind of your love is failed by how your partner looks like outside, then that love is not real.
If your love is failed by dirtiness/evilness of the outside clothing flesh, then your love is not real. Real love should be able to cleans him/her of outside clothing.
If your love is based on the cloth or flesh together with its attachments, you are in danger of having your love finished when the outside covering deteriorates or lose value.
But the real LOVE goes through and pierce all the outside covering clothing flesh and get to GOD inside, then that is victory for life.
The real love is not turned off by evilness of the partner.
It is not turned off by marital expectations not accomplished.
What you must bear in mind, is that your partner becomes a wall which is between you and God, which means that, if you fail to love this wall through, you won’t be able to see God.
Even though you may divorce and decide to continue to be one with God in terms of worshipping, attending church service and partake in everything that pertains to church, you won’t be able to see God at the end of the day until you go through your partner.
◦ When you hug your partner, you should be hugging him or her as though desiring your God inside him or her.
◦ When there is erupting of thorns or fire outside (in flesh), you must keep in mind that GOD/LOVE is still there inside, you do not need go back, but you need to pave your way through the outside attitudes, personal agendas until you reach out to the life restaurant inside.
◦ Do not stop making way forward to Love until the flesh wall is behind, that will be the time when that wall will turn to become your protection when you dine on the everlasting LOVE.
Marriage is not a joke, marriage is godly.