Had you ever experienced waking up in the morning confused about the things you want to do in your life? The worst thing is that people around you make it all so complicated and so you got more confused.
Four Months Ago
I woke up early in the morning to get my certificate at S company and go to Telecom where I was endorsed. After all the exams, interviews, and the long agonizing waiting hours, finally my phone rang. I answered the call and definitely it was from Telecom, congratulating me for passing the exams and the interviews. He then told me that I’m going to have my contract signing the next day and my training will be on Sunday. I thank him and after a couple of minutes the call ended.
I told everyone about the good news and they are all so happy for me and so am I. This is my first job, and I’m so dying to start right at that very moment. I thought to myself.
I arrived at the company an hour earlier than my schedule. I didn’t have a hard time looking for the training room because the lady guard accompanied me. I was the first one to arrive. Thirty minutes later, the others came. Some of them are already friends, and so I felt left out. But it didn’t take that long.
A woman on her 30’s approached me and introduced herself to me. Her name was Jel. She worked before as a customer representative at Wal-Mart. She then introduced me to some of her friends. They were Dan, Mary, Chris, and Jason. Dan’s a little bit loud and gay, Mary’s a lesbian and a little timid, while Chris and Jason became my smoking buddies. Since then, people often see us at our “Lung Cancer Zone”, that’s how we call our smoking area.
Weeks passed. Our trainers taught us everything we need to know, from grammar to product training. Our deliberation day came. Though we all knew that we did our best, not all of us passed. Half of the team failed. It was sad but then life must go on.
Work and Boredom
The real thing came. I started working as a directory assistant for Canadian people. Day time became my night, and night time became my day. I worked five days a week. I enjoyed the first few months of working. The job was very easy, and yet I get a high salary. Everything went so well, my officemates, my team captain, my job, and my life.
Everyday I worked late at night and go home during the day. Sleep for like four to five hours a day then get up from bed and prepare for work. For four months I’ve been like that, it became a routine.
One day I woke up and realized how bored I am with what I’m doing. I’m so fed up of doing the same thing over and over again. I need something different. Something that will make my brain think. Something that will really make me busy. I need a job where I can express my thoughts and feelings about anything and everything. Something that will require some effort and hard work, and that is my passion for writing.
When I brought the topic to the people around me, they didn’t agree. Maybe it’s because of the benefits and the high salary that I’ve been receiving for the past four months. Yes, I definitely know that they’re right, but what will I do with all the benefits if I’m not really happy with what I’m doing.
For weeks, I’ve thought of that. Sometimes I just want to give up. As weeks passed I got more confused. What if I don’t succeed in the career that I want? What if I don’t get the same benefits? What if I’m really not for the writing industry? What if they’re right? Those questions started popping out of my head, and yet no one can answer me directly, even myself.
Me and My Passion
Finally I found the courage to decide for myself. I went to the office and passed my resignation letter. I thank my team captain and officemates for the time and friendship that we shared. The saddest part of leaving the company is leaving some friends behind. This is reality. This is neither highschool nor college days. I need to do this for my own sake, for my happiness, and mostly for my future.
I was relieved when I went home after passing my resignation letter. I suddenly realized the answer to all the questions in my mind. It’s about taking risk. Yes, I won’t know the answer to all my questions if I won’t follow my heart, take the risk, and try things out. I thought to myself.