Carrying the Cool Forward

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Having crashed the most significant party of my life, that is Janelle’s pre-Christmas Break fete in High
School, I gained vital lessons in how one does this effectively.

1) Arrive almost on time.

No one arrives on time. Lateness is ‘fashionable’. Some will be twenty minutes late, others an hour or more.This means you have the run of the venue and can appoint yourself Official Greeter.

There’s a panache to this, you need to be absolutely cool, gracious, expansive, as if you own the premises.Make sure to enter just after the first the group has cleared the door and has about five minutes inside.

Early arrivants are nobodies. As they won’t be of a high enough rank to engage in much discourse with the
esteemed host, they can’t question your attendence nor actions.

2. Start to Exit as the Host Enters

When the host or hostess makes their entrance, move to the very fringes. Try not to be seen for at least fifteen minutes. Hide in the bathroom, get lost in nether regions, just don’t be seen for the next ten minutes. Let the host hobnob, and move away from one section. The non-host occupied section is where you remain until leave taking.

3. Leave Taking

As you are about to leave, (before you are thrown out) make transits of the room so everyone sees you. Stop at each group of guests and explain that you have to leave early as you have another engagement. Move quickly, so that you can’t be thrown out, and remember, it is harder to hit a moving target.

4. Raise your status by lowering the function.

As you take your leave, the terms to use;
“I have to say good night now,
I’m due at another function.”
“I just stopped by to show respect to Host,”;
And such remarks which suggest;

a) you attended more as a ‘duty’ then for the ‘status’
b) the function to which you are bound is much more
important than this one.

The fact such an important person as yourself takes time to explain to nobodies like them the reasons for your exit moves you to Beneficent Goddess status.

Caveat; Make sure to start your leave taking within twenty minutes of the advent of your host.

5. Work assumptions

Everyone who sees you at prestigious function assumes someone else invited you. After you have been seen at
so many important functions the assumption is that you are an important person so need to be invited to their

6. Become Choosy

Once you receive invitations to functions, learn to decline gracefully. People will judge the status of their functions by whether or not you deem it worthy of your attendance.

Although Janelle dropped from radar after High School, as
persons who don’t do their homework tend to fail, people
still remember I was cool in High School.

My crashing of her party has taught me the importance
of being thought Cool and has served me well.


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