Do you sometimes experience difficulties trying to speak your mind? Has it ever been difficult for you to turn down somebody’s offer, invitation, or present? Whether we are confident or withdrawn in the company of other people, we all know these feelings to some extent. It is, indeed, not easy to balance honesty with the consideration of others and their feelings, but it’s not impossible either. The following article will guide you through the process of gaining an attitude which will simplify both your life and your relations with others.
BE FIRM BUT POLITE – you may have to ask your mother to stop commenting on the fact that you and your husband work too much, or advice your neighbor not to vacuum clean at 5 am. You have every right to do so; moreover, if you find anyone’s behavior overbearing you even should intervene. The trick here is to react immediately instead of waiting for months, or even years, only to suddenly explode and shout out all your pretensions unexpectedly. Confronting people is not arguing.
NEVER FEEL GUILTY – in order to feel comfortable while dealing with people in general, you must accept the basic fact about interpersonal relations: you can’t make everybody happy. Becoming assertive requires you to accept this fact and all its consequences. People will be often offended or just disappointed if you will admit openly and honestly that you don’t support their opinions, you can’t accept their offer or that you don’t share their excitement about something. Never feel guilty in such situations because it’s not you being “bad” here, it’s just other people lacking tolerance or imagination.
OBSERVE YOUR RESULTS – being assertive is a reflexive process. There’s no one golden rule as to how become assertive once and for all. You can even start writing a diary in which you will record assertive stances you achieved with respect to relatives, friends, colleagues and even your boss. You can assess your results periodically and see how you can improve your confidence and truthfulness. In the long run, you will see that your life became simpler, your nerves are no longer strained giving you sleepless nights and that many among those whom you confronted genuinely appreciated your honesty.