Make it a rule, when you invite someone to your home,
you put their comfort first.
That is the secret of being a great host.
It isn’t fabulous decorations and meals and activities,
it is insuring your guest feels comfortable.
For example; Tom invited his mother to spend a month
with him. His house was centrally air conditioned.
She, who lived in the tropics, found the temperature
Tom’s wife, for her reasons, demanded the thermostat
be kept at Seventy Five degrees Fahrenheit.
Reading this you are probably aghast that an invited
guest would be made to suffer what was, to her,
unbearable cold for the length of her stay.
That Tom’s wife, and Tom to some extent, were unwilling
to suffer the slightest discomfort will explain why his
mother will never visit again.
Tom is an example of a very poor host. He doesn’t grasp
the fact that as a host, one ‘contracts’ to look after guests.
If one has no intention of experiencing the slightest
dislocation; DO NOT INVITE.
Your first rule is that it is not ‘majority rules’
it is that the guest’s comfort comes First.
Your second rule is to prepare. Learn if your guest is on
a special diet or simply doesn’t eat certain foods. Insure
that menus are tentatively worked out so that never will
there be a day your guest goes hungry.
It will not kill you to abstain from pork or meat or unsalted
foods for the length of the visit. In fact, proper hosts,
regardless of their eating habits will ‘switch’ so everything
in the house is palatable for the guest.
Again, those who wish to proclaim that it is ‘their house’
and they can eat what they like in ‘their house’ should
not invite anyone to ‘their house.’
The Third rule, when inviting, create free time to spend
with your guest and take him/her to whatever sights
your area offers.
Locking a guest in a house while you go to work is
Yes, you might not be able to afford Disney World, but if
a guest is coming to Orlando, and will not be taken to one
of the attractions, make sure this is known in advance.
The Fourth rule is be very clear about the kind of
accommodations you are offering.
If s/he is expected to share a room with a baby, or another
relative, make it clear, long before arrival. Visitors might
prefer to stay elsewhere once they know what you have
available, and this is their choice. Remember, they are not
seeking sanctuary, they have not barged in, you have
invited them. Make it clear what they can expect.
The Fifth necessity of a good host is being alert to their
guest’s mood, attitude, expectations.
Assume nothing. You might enjoy this sport, your guest
might be bored to tears. You might feel ‘at home’ at a club,
your guest might feel in danger.
Don’t force your guest to do anything s/he does not wish
to, and if necessary, change your plans to suit.
After all, you have taken this person from their ‘comfort
At the end of the visit your guest should have had a good
time. If you have also had a good time, then you can proffer
another invitation. If you haven’t, as long as your guest
departs with good feelings, you have been a good host and
the dislocation/discomfort in your life reaps that reward.