Ever have a hard time expressing yourself in a relationship?

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Here’s how to get your point or concerns across without worrying saying something you shouldn’t.  Instead of all the screaming and yelling, or walking away while slamming doors, try something productive.  While you are sitting there stewing over what just happened, grab a pen and notepad.  Sit down collect you thoughts for a while. The whole time you’re doing this make sure you’re writing them down on the paper.  Write anything no matter how little or stupid you feel it is.  Before you know it you will have page after page added up of things that were going through your head.

Once you feel you’ve gotten all of your feelings out, look down and take a look at what you just did.  On this little notepad you should have pages of thoughts or ideas.  You will start to see a pattern come together of the things you can’t seem to get off your chest while in the heat of the moment.  Instead you start saying stupid, hurtful, degrating things because you’re angry, upset, or hurt.  After you while you say something so bad you feel like a worthless person because that just came out of your mouth.  How do you usually deal with that?  I’m going to take a guess and say you go in your room, slam the door behind you, curl up in a ball on your bed and cry.

Instead of it getting that far you know have this notepad full of feelings.  Read through them, but as you read through them ave a separate piece of paper handy.  Use this paper to make sense of what you’re reading.  Make a letter to the person you want to say something to out of the feelings you’re reading. Take out anything you feel is not shareable, but write the rest down in this letter.  When you have finished reading and writing, reread the letter you just wrote.  If you feel it still needs changes make them.

So now you have this letter.  You may ask what needs to be done with it now that you have it in your possession.  Well, address it to whom ever the feelings are for.  Sign the bottom however you wish, and either fold it up nicely or stick it in an envelope.  When that person comes home hand it to them.  You may feel a little childish doing this, or maybe even uneasy wondering what they will think of it.  Don’t worry though, chances are after they read it you will talk.  Not the same kind of talks you’ve been having that had provoked you to write the letter in the first place, but a good one where both parties can express themselves freely.  Who knows after they read it they might even write one back to you!

What people are forgetting is that the world we live in today causes a lot of drama in ones life.  So take out the drama, and just sit by yourself for a while to think.  Write down everything you think of.  People also forget the the power of thought is bigger than they remember.  When you talk to someone face to face most of the time you either get nervous, upset, angry, anxious, or maybe even butterflies.  With taking this approach all that is out the window.

So if this seems to be a problem for you, go ahead and try writing.  I bet it will change things for the better, and you’ll wonder why you never did it before.  Happy writing!

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