I am married to my very best friend. I hope that so many others can say that. When you are with someone day in and day out you want it to be someone that you truly love and adore. I think that what makes a marriage work is trust and understanding. You have to trust your spouse or you will be miserable. It would be hard to function if you do not have trust. I know sometimes things happen that make you not trust them, and if this is the case, it is entirely up to you what to do about it. You control your own destiny and you are in charge of your own life. Understanding your spouse is a big part of what makes a marriage work. You should know what they like and don’t like, when they want their “space” to just think or when they just want to carry you for a ride in the country. When you have dedicated your life to someone else you should know that person well enough to be able to tell what they are thinking and to be able to finish sentences for them. Always be honest with your spouse and be honest with yourself and you will never have to cover up something or fake anything.
I have a “routine” that I live by day to day. It helps to get me through the day and it gives me something to look forward to. I think that being there for your spouse is just as important as being there for your children. You are a family and I know that so often a family is broken up after the children are born because all the attention is focused on the children, which is a must when they are babies, but let it be both parents attention and then you are still sharing in something and not forgetting about each other. And when the children are asleep, all that attention can be on each other. You can’t forget that this is the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with. You have to nurture and take care of your children, but do not ever forget about your spouse. When your children are grown and move out, you want your spouse to still be there. Do not neglect now what you will crave in the future.
The routine that I mentioned earlier is as follows~
1. When I wake up in the morning the first thing I do is hug my husband and say “I love you”. This is a way of me knowing that he will know that incase something happens to me before I see him again.
2. I talk to him about what I am going to do that day and where I will be going. He tells me the same. I feel closer to him throughout the day if I know what he will be doing.
3. I then do little things for him like turn the T.V. on to ESPN and bring him a cup of coffee. He does so much for me and I love seeing his smile when I do something for him, no matter how small it may be.
4. During the day when we are apart, I call him just to see how he is doing and how his day is going. It helps me to know that he is safe and just talking to him puts a smile on my face.
5. When he is working I carry him something to eat or just drop by to see him during his lunch break. Seeing his smile when he comes out the door is worth so much.
6. When we are at home in the evenings, we just sit and talk. We talk about our day, we talk about sports, we talk about the children, we talk about most anything. We communicate and that’s a must for me.
7. If he has something to do around the house, I offer to help. He does so much and doing things together means spending time with each other and being in on things together.
8. We never go to bed upset about anything. The last words out of our mouths are always I love you.
I do these things to help myself and it is my little way of showing him that I am always thinking about him. Having a great marriage should not be an effort, it should be a automatic. You should not have to force yourself to make your marriage work. Marriage is a journey and it should take you where you want to go, so put it on auto pilot and enjoy it. Spend your life loving and caring for your spouse, they are not always going to be here. Make the time you have with them special. Watch that ball game with him or go shopping with her, it will make the other feel better than you know, as well as making you feel good.
Don’t dwell on those bad days, focus on not having bad days. You are in control and marriage, like life, is going to be how you make it. If you have a great marriage, life itself will be wonderful. You will go through the day smiling and feeling good about yourself…it’s a feeling that everyone can experience…just be your spouse’s best friend.