Chain Letters – Who needs em?

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This is what I did all day….

There are many times in our lives when you’re reduced to something other then just yourself…you’re no longer Jay the fun loving bud light addict with a disturbing yet fond affection for his xbox 360. It’s when two adults meet each other for the first time, and ask each other “What do you do”.   When someone asks you this question you are suddenly a something, no longer a person. You are a cook, or a janitor. You are known for what you do. Id rather be unemployed when I meet new people. Then I can tell them I do nothing, I am a bum, I stay home and clean and play xbox, I want to tell them  im a housewife, which is fun cause Im a guy, which would make normal people think Im either gay or a pain in the ass and piss them off.

I read somewhere that God has a pen. And we write our stories with God’s pen…
Im sorry, are you listening? We write OUR stories with GOD’s  pen? I don’t even like when people USE my pen’s, because I spend $3.99 for two of those gel ink one’s at CVS. I highly doubt that God would lend his pen to any one of us idiot humans, im sure he spent quite a bit of money on his pens, and I bet he has the REALLY good kind…all gold and shiny.

Life…let’s say one thing about life….life is not like ANY box of chocolates Ive EVER seen.

I hate hookers. The smartest thing to ever come out their mouths was a penis.

Having trouble waking up in the morning, set your cell phone alarm and go to sleep with it down your pants, that will sure as shit wake you up…..

Let’s talk about chain letters….. Back in the day we despised receiving chain letters in the mail….

And isn’t it also true that when the e-mail equivalent of those chain letters surfaced we looked at each other and said “they have to be kidding me?”…..

So in that vein, doesn’t logic dictate that MySpace’s equivalent of e-mail chain letters – those slipped inside a bulletin – would bring us to the brink of regurgitation???

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about the request for reposts – I’m talking about the requests for repost with added shit in it. Such as,  “Send to 5 people immediately or your love life is doomed (like it isnt already, One of us is going to die first)”, “send now and you will win some money…wait 5 minutes and thieves will break into your house tonight”, Repost this six times or elves will come and eat your testicles…. etc,etc!!

There are enough forms of media to transfer this vitally important information – let’s not add MySpace to the list.

NOTE : Comment to this blog within the next 5 minutes and you will have a lifetime of happiness, prosperity, fame, fortune, free coffees for life, win 30% off a Sams Club membership and lose 25 pounds within the week, not to mention be cured of the clap at your next doctor’s appointment.

Failure to comment will result in failed marriages, loss of job, runaway pets, flat tires, increased genital infections,  DVR failing to copy your favorite shows, Brad Pitt not returning your calls, your father* divulging he is scheduled for a sex change operation, and gaining the 25 pounds of the person who commented.

You know what pisses me off??? Blog Group members who make their blogs private…why join the group if you’re not going to let people read your blogs??? Idiots.

Im going to get a blog website and start a new book called “Beer and Good Ideas”

Im going to bed. Im bored and had bud light and a few ideas…..obviously…


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