BoJack’s Beefy Ride

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This is a brief description of BoJacks monster vehicle,capable of drag strip speed, and the kind of horse power only hippies and speed demonds dream of.  Bo put a blower on top of his unmitigated 454 and now calls it BLOWJACK.
But he’s always tinkering,isn’t he?
It has a space age filter that allows air molecules  through but not water molecules so back home in Baton Rouge,LA. he can drive through mud and muck and Mighty Mississippi all day if he wants to.His 44″Monster Mudders allow him to run over alligators and fallen logs and resist quickstand,even crush the giant pythons indigenous to the swampy filth area he calls home.
No wonder he is messed up.The truck also has a NASA approved inflatable raft mechanism secured(but protected) in the custom subframe of his beast,allowing him to cross bodies of water too deep to traverse by mudbogging.One thing this vehicle never does is bog.
It has a 981 horsepower engine and will beat most alcohol fuel dragsters,it also has retractable wheelie bars on either side of the tow-hitch,which is stronger than most big rigs.
His favorite feature is the Desert Storm style flamethrower welded between the hitch and concrete filled stainless steel 5″diameter rear bumper.The napolm tank is behind the left rear wheelwell,with 15 coats of fireproofing and 3 metal plates.He can shoot flames up to 45′ to deter or cook cars playing obnoxious rap boom-boom music and annoying little Hondas and Toyotas with their stupid mufflers and wildly painted looks:these things by no means whatsoever make a vehicle faster,but as we know,ingorance is bliss.
That is of course until that ignorance turns into a 4800 degree fireball and your face melts off.His design includes an emergency brake cable from a1976 Olds Cutlass Supreme fused to the igniter,that runs up under the tranny hump secured to a frying pan handle that he can pull,next to the shifter.
He has only burned one little old lady so far by accident.Another favorite is the rear pointed 545 thousand candle power desert spotlight.This he uses to deter stupid dumbasses who’s headlights are too bright or some young dipshit comming up on his ass too fast.Also for just bad or stupid drivers in general,ugly chicks,if he has a bad day,and for those stupid blue tinted headlight covering things.
He also enjoys blinding the vision of little japanese cars on blind turns so they crash and fly off cliffs and die.
Other modifications to follow,and dont forget the fender mounted 50 Caliber machine guns.It also has a grenade launcher on a swivel below the roll bar that can point in any direction and also destroy any potential path blockage,brick walls,trees,cars,whatever.He hates pedestrians too.He has a bazooka in back but is not permantly attached,and he only uses it when he is pissed off.Really,nobody in their right mind should ever piss off BoJack JimBob Sanders.
He might run over your car or crush your car,smashing it like an aluminum can.


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