Now that the most important aspect of his adultery; how
YOU behave is complete, let us deal with the nuts and
bolts of the legal ramifications.
You want to get out at a better position than you
entered with the least dislocation.
This is only possible when you keep your knowledge
of his affair to yourself.
Consult an attorney. If you don’t have one, find one,
and find one that understands.
Too many lawyers seem to believe that ‘catch him first’
is the way to go. They are wrong. Getting yourself in
the best position comes first.
Property is your first ‘list’. What is owned by both of
you, by him or by you?
Sure, that may be his big screen T.V. but when you
move it out and cart it twenty miles away, and he
can’t find you right away, WHILE THE MARRIAGE
IS CURRENT, that is, there is no legal separation,
you’ve just ‘disappeared’ ‘out of a clear blue sky’,
there is no way for him to get it back without court
action, AFTER the Divorce.
Sure, that might be his car, but if you were going to
the supermarket to buy groceries you certainly could
not be considered stealing it.
He has no claim against you AS HIS WIFE for taking
his car. Hence, if you plan to take a car, you take it,
and you leave.
When a marriage is ‘intact’ there is no question of division
of property, of custody, hence you taking the kids is not
abduction or in any way a breach of law.
You sending the kids to camp, to visit a relative while you
get things sorted is the way to go.
Remember; as far as he knows, you are his wife and
there is no problem with the marriage.
He is supposed to have NO IDEA that you left him.
Renting a premises in your maiden name in some other
part of the city, going to live with relatives a few hundred
miles away, whatever you chose.
As long as he is taken by surprise, as long as he is of the
mind that you are a missing person or have been abducted
by a Klingon Bird of Prey, you get away with just about
Before you reach this stage, however, make sure you
have a nice big nest egg.
Stealing housekeeping money, waiting until the last month or two
not to pay bills, cleaning out the joint account, selling jewelry and
valuables, even good old lying; i.e. “The sofa needs to be recovered”,
when you have sold it, is what you do.
You owe him NOTHING.
He has broken his marriage vow to you, he is more interested
in his slut of the month than his wife. He is no more than a
predatory stranger from whom you must protect yourself.
When you believe he is unfaithful, don’t go into hysteria, go
into pre-divorce planning.
A competent attorney, who can grasp what you intend to do,
will be able to assist in moving a lot of property in such a way
that it will cost him greatly.