A cancer patients story
It is funny how very little words can change your whole view on life. That is exactly what happened the day I was diagnosed with cancer.
My life flashed before my eyes, I now looked at everything like it was important even though it wasn’t and I now noticed the small details in everything I do that I normally wouldn’t.
When I close my eyes that day replays in my head, as if it is a reminder that the end is almost near and I should do something drastic with my life.
I remember walking into the alcohol scented hospital waiting room to get the results back from the test. I had been having chest pains for awhile and avoided coming to check it out due to my own fear of people that decided whether we are going to live or not, and because I waited so long it was to late to start treatment, the spreading had already began.
I have lung cancer.
The doctor described my situation like a wildfire and that I would suffer more pain through the treatment. I then already made up my mind that I wanted to feel less pain as possible and let nature take its course. So I did.
Three weeks after I was diagnosed I ended up back in the hospital with a collapsed lung and from there on out the hospital became my home. It was not until two days after I was admitted that I experience the best day of my life, or so I thought it was. I was feeling better. I was in no pain and I thought I was reuniting with people that had already past or that were from my past. I could smile again and for a moment I forgot about the diagnosis and lived life for me. That night before I fell asleep I took my daughter by her hand and I told her that she could do what ever she wanted to do in life as long s she put her whole heart into it. I told my mother that she was to look after my daughter with care and teach her everything that she knew and for every tear I shed that night, I somehow knew the closer I was to meeting my fate. When I fell asleep that night it was the last night that I would ever see my family and yet I went to sleep with a smile on my face. I knew that my time had come and I finished and said everything I needed to say. I knew my family would be okay and that I would be as well.
Cancer made me scared of the fate chosen for me, but in the end I was okay. I passed away in my sleep and I finished what I was put here on earth to do. Even though I had one of the worst case scenarios my death was peaceful and that I am grateful for.