1) MAKE A LIST. You first have to be honest with yourself and make a list of all family, friends, bosses, coworkers, pastors, members of the church, and etc that you know in your heart that manipulates you into doing things you would not normally do.
2) GET COURAGE. Begin the mental process of seeing yourself stronger and saying “NO”. Surround yourself around people that have gotten courage to do to this. This could be by reading a book on their lives, watching a show, or just being in the physical presence of a person that broke free.
3) BREAK FREE. Break free by renouncing all associations with these people. Example: “I renounce such and such from my life in Jesus Name” or “I cut all ties between such and such and I in Jesus Name” (Note: for those of different faiths just do those steps without ‘in Jesus Name”)
4) START SLOW. Begin to get rid of those who has the least controlling influence or impact on you first, refer to your list.
5) BLOCKING PROCESS. Begin to block all their phone numbers, email addresses and if you are on a online community i.e. Face book, block them from there as well. If you have to leave a place then leave for example a church, a group, a job.
6) CONFRONTATION Part I. Usually at this step you may or may not be confronted because of your actions in step 5 because these are the people with the least control and the Breaking Fr
7) START PROCESS OVER AGAIN. At this stage you feel even more freer and bolder so you begin the process of steps 1 – 6 again with those who have more controlling impact on you. At this stage you feel more emotional and you may cry because this disconnect has more profoundness on you because you trusted these people that took advantage of you.
8) THE REHEARSAL. This is what I call the premeditated stage where you will have to rehearse to yourself what you will say if you are confronted. You will have to use different scenarios. You should rehearse as if it will be a one on one confrontation. You should also rehearse as if there will be others around especially with them. Take very serious thought what you would say if others are with them because this is where they have the upper hand to try to embarrass and even manipulate you.
9) CONFRONTATION Part II. Because this group of people knowingly or not know they are controlling you they will confront you as to why you blocked them. They will want to know why you have stopped communicating with them.
10) STAY FOCUS AND DON’T BACK DOWN. At this stage you have to stay focus and get even more strength because you are closing a door that the other person don’t won’t you to. They may tell you they will change but you have to stay grounded and cut all ties. You will need a support person or persons for this process.
11) IMMEDIATE FAMILY STAGE. You have grown and now even more bolder than before but this is the most Emotional State you can be. If your parents or siblings causes harm to you (NO MATTER WHAT AGE YOU ARE) then just leave. If you are at a place that resolution can be through communication then communicate to them how you feel.
12) NEW BEGINNINGS. You are now at a place where the right people will enter you life and you should have courage to receive them. You will know those who try to enter you life that aren’t right because you lived it before and you can say “NO” to that relationship.