How to Make and Keep Good Friends

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To make a good friend you must first say hello, or start a good conversation. Perhaps the person is wearing a shirt of a particular band you like, or t.v. show, or perhaps they simply sit by you in class. Either way, there’s always an opening for communication, and you should take it.

Speaking of communication, if they seem disinterested (this includes scooting the chair away from you) you should probably strike them off a “good friends” list, and get on with your life. Who needs a snooty friend anyways?

Once you have made friends with this person, you should make it a point to communicate with them on a regular, but healthy basis. Try to show them you care about hanging out with them, and go out to lunch, or even just go on a walk together or play a favorite game or sport together. Movies are great, but you aren’t going to build a friendship if all you do is sit in front of the t.v. with very little communication. So try a healthy mix of all sorts of activities!

Remember to not treat others in a way that would hurt your feelings. If you don’t want to be treated like poo, a good precaution is to treat others well. A wonderful exercise is to put yourself in their shoes in an argument and see where they are coming from. You’d be surprised how much understanding of this person and quality bonding you will get from simply stepping into someone else’s shoes. It is really easy to be a dominating, bullying friend when you are dumbly independent and strong willed, but chances are, this isn’t going to be extremely appealing to anyone with a healthy mentality. You will have to give what you want to get.

Don’t let others take advantage of you. While you may like this person, it is important to value yourself as a worth while person. If you find yourself getting bossed around, ignored, or called when this “friend” wants/ needs money or a ride, but they don’t put much effort into your life, get rid of them. It may sound harsh, but there are many people out there that have to grow up, and one way they will learn to do it is if people actually take up for themselves instead of letting a supposed friend bully them around and treat them like poo.

While we’re talking about taking up for yourself, remember that sometimes people just get caught up with life. While it is honorable to care for your friends and make an effort to spend time with them, and it is a wonderful attribute to have as a friend (as well as a vital one). Sometimes they are simply busy, and it has nothing to do with them not caring for you. Trying to be understanding instead of hurt is a problem we all deal with when we feel our friends are ignoring us, and it may simply be not the case at all. However, if this goes on for a great while, you may want to look twice at the situation, and make a decision as to whether or not you are going to continue calling them without them returning the favor. If they care, they will call back. You are worth a good friend who can at least call, even if they are really busy.

As a wrap up tip : Expect others to be a good friend, but also expect yourself to be one. Value yourself and those around you. As you develop in friendship you will learn many things that may not coincide with your beliefs or views, but stay true to who you are, while respecting your new friend, if they do the same you are sure to have a friendship that lasts!


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