I was 13 years old. I was at 8th standard to be precise. It was my first year as a teenager. It was the age when love and infatuation were synonyms and it was the age which gave birth to many crushes. I was a last bench genius those days (not nowâ€¦ of courseâ€¦Engineering made me bluntâ€¦), very good in maths, very mischievous. I would be punished severely for not allowing others to listen to lectures and classes. It was one fine morning, which turned bad when I saw my biology teacher entering the class. She hated me completely since I wonâ€™t listen to her lectures and instructions. Myself and two other friends of mine would be sitting together at last bench. We were more like Ryan, Hari and Alok of â€œFive point someoneâ€. Suddenly one of my friends raised a topic. We were a bit excited as the topic was new to us to discuss about. This is how the conversation began…X is my first friend and Y the second oneâ€¦
X: Hey Shankar!!! Do you know anything about love???
Me: Noâ€¦. I think we can speak about it a few years later..
X: Why not now? See we have started wearing Full-pants (instead of shorts) to school. we are big boys nowâ€¦ aren’t we?
Me: of course..We areâ€¦ (That’s the first year we started wearing Full pants. Till seventh we were asked to wear half pants) so what do you want to know now?
Y: Hey guys!! wonâ€™t you listen to what the teacher says? It wonâ€™t be nice if we stand out of the class before those beautiful girls. I don’t want my image to get spoiled.
X: Hey Shankar..You are good at maths…you score 90 every time and you know each and every formulaâ€¦ Me: so what? What it has got to do with love?
X: tell me a formula for love…If you are so called good in mathsâ€¦
Me: formula for love? Let me thinkâ€¦
Y: Guys!! Take a look at the girl in the second row..How gorgeous she is??
Me: shut up!!! Let me think for some time. (The period ended sooner than I expected. I was thinking for the next three periods for a formula. But I didn’t get any proper Idea. Hurray!! It was lunch period and at least we can talk freely without anyone watching us, atleast for some time.)
X: For how much time you will think? The maths genius cannot even derive a formula???
Me: This is not maths. We can rather call it chemistry.
X: ok. What about the formula? If chemistry then make it as a equation.
Me: Why are you suddenly asking about love?
X: Because yesterday my brother told me that he is in love with a girl!!!
Me: ohâ€¦!! So what and all your brother does with his lover?
X: He often speaks to her in phoneâ€¦ all useless topics..
Me: That we also do.. Whenever we speak over in phone we talk about useless things as we do now. Next?
X: They go to movies together.
Me: Heyâ€¦ we also do the same thing. So there is not much difference between friendship and love!!.
X: Noâ€¦Noâ€¦Noâ€¦ There is one main differenceâ€¦
Me: Whatâ€™s that?? (After uttering those words my friend looked on his sides to check if someone is listening to our discussions. Suddenly he came closer and kissed me on my cheeks. )
Me: What the hell are you doing? What happened to you?
X: What I did to you now? Me: you kissed meâ€¦ idiotâ€¦.
X: I kissed you only on your cheeks. For that you are scolding me. But my brother kisses his lover on lips..
Me: when you kiss on cheeks, that’s called a kiss. But when you kiss on lips?? Whatâ€™s that called? (See we were so ignorant on that ageâ€¦)
X: may be lips kiss?? (This is where my another friend, who was just listening to what we spoke enters the conversation)
Y: You dumb foolsâ€¦ Do you know what it is when someone kisses on lips?? (myself and X were puzzled..and looking anxiously at Y for the answer!!!)
Y: If some one kisses the other on the lips,its called s**â€¦
Y:Do you think I am joking??
Me: Then let me frame the formulaâ€¦ I have a new formulaâ€¦I got it..
X: Greatâ€¦whatâ€™s that?
Me: So the lovers do whatever we doâ€¦ and additionally they do something called S**â€¦. So the Formula is Love= Friendship+s**â€¦.. How it is??
X:Disgustingâ€¦..s** is something bad. don’t use that word. Me: Then let us search for a good word from dictionary. ( I asked for a dictionary from a girl. We searched for a word which can effectively replace sex. Atlast with great efforts I found a word!!!!)
Me: â€œEureka!!!â€ I yelled.I got it. So the new formula for love is Love= Friendship + Lust
X: wow.Its great.Now let us spread this to whole class.
Y:Then, What is friendship?? Shankar..
Me: simpleâ€¦ If love=friendship+lustâ€¦.Then Friendship= love-lust..(This is how engineers refer to problems!!! lolâ€¦)
Few Days laterâ€¦.
Teacher: It seems you are studying applied maths?
Me: Maâ€™m?? I didn’t get you???
Teacher: It seems you are deriving formulaâ€™s for various unwanted stuffs.
Me: ???? My formula was a Hit.But I got several punishments!! (the after effects of my formulaâ€¦..) I was made to stand out of principalâ€™s room for a whole week and had my lunch in staff room along with teachers. Irony is that, they liked it and some teachers laughed after hearing my formula. But still they punished me