Tip number one is to pick your battles. As with children, you can’t have your way all the time with your husband. If an issue is small, you’re much better off letting it go than nagging and creating resentment. So he leaves his socks on the floor – nobody’s going to be harmed by that. Save your battles for the things that really matter to you in your marriage.
Tip number two is not to try to change your mate. He or she was probably great when you met them – just because there are differences between the two of you does not mean he or she is obligated to change. If your husband wants to watch sports, then let him. His happiness and ability to be independent will only help your marriage.
Tip number three is to develop your own hobbies so you don’t get mad when your husband wants to do something that you hate (like playing golf, watching sports, cutting wood). If you find a hobby you truly love, you’ll be happy when he decides to take part in one of his activities. Scrapbooking, photography, freelance writing, surfing the net, shopping with friends, playing tennis, etc. Developing your interests can save marriage.
Tip number four is to have some subjects be off limits if they cause a fight all the time. My husband will not fight about money – its something he decided as a child and its great because I don’t want to fight about that either. We have added household chores to the list as well – too many arguments broke out over who does what in the house so we don’t get into that anymore. We both just do what we can around the house and live with it.
Tip number five is to be best friends. Support and love your mate. Do some things together – take a walk or go out to dinner. Go for a drive and talk about when you were first dating. Hang pictures from your wedding around the house to remind you of your bond and why you entered into marriage with this person.
Marriage is hard, but if you make a conscious choice to not sweat the little things, it can be infinitely better than you ever imagined. If you’re already having problems, look into marriage counselors. Even if you don’t like the idea of marriage counseling, they often can assist in getting things back on track.
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