Are you in a constant battle with your children? Are you constantly yelling and saying the same things several times just to get them to behave? I have learned that when we do this, we are only wearing ourselves down and it’s not beneficial to you or the child.
You have to say what you mean and then follow with a consequence. You should only say something once, give the child a time limit for example “you have 30 minutes to clean your room.” After the time limit, if the chore is still not completed then you give the consequence and don’t bend. If the consequence is no TV the rest of the day then that means no TV the rest of the day. And by the way, you still expect the room to be cleaned.
Children are very smart from a very early age and they know how to push your buttons and what they can get away with. I have 5 children. My husband and I do not make idle threats, we expect a certain behavior. We do allow our children to express their feelings to us and we listen, but at the end of the day, we make our decisions based on the best interest of our children.
Do not let your children run over you. Say what you mean and then follow through with actions. Your children will grow up respecting you and others. All children need boundaries and they crave it, it shows you love them. Trust me, they may not say it now, but once they are grown, they will THANK YOU!!!
- Give time limits. This lets the child know how long they have and prevents them from just playing around and you having to keep saying the same over and over. Make the time limit appropriate for the chore. Make sure they know exactly what time it is to be completed.
- Follow through with consequences. If you don’t then your children are controlling you.
- Allow your children to express their feelings to you. They will feel like they have a voice and you are just not handing down orders. Always do what is in their best interest but sometimes compromise is okay.
- Remember you ARE the parent and it is your job to raise responsible adults. “NO” should always be your first response and then they can convince you to say yes. This really works because it gives the child a chance to look at the situation from your perspective.
- Last but never least – Love them and cherish them. When they give you the behavior you want, acknowledge it and praise them.