10 Things To Ponder
I have one of those jobs where you have busy days and you have slow days. On the slow days, I like to ponder. For some reason, people don’t ponder anymore. They think, they daydream, they fantasize, but they don’t ponder.
When I was younger I used to ponder all the time. In fact, my mother walked in on me one day and caught me pondering. But, that’s a whole other story and one best saved for the next visit to my analyst.
Anyway, I was sitting there the other day pondering about how glad I was that I bought a TV tray, because I was tired of having shirts with spots on them. And then it struck me. Maybe I could get people to ponder again. Getting people to ponder is not only fun to say, but it’s fun to do, too.
So, here is a list of ten things for you to ponder and here they are now.
- We see hundreds of birds flying around every day, but we hardly ever see any dead ones. Where do birds go to die? Boca?
- Why is the gas station, with the lower price, always on the other side of the highway?
- Wouldn’t it be cool, if you were driving behind someone who has their emergency signals flashing, all of a sudden, turn left and right at the same time?
- I don’t understand seedless watermelons. What do they use to plant them? A picture of a watermelon?
- How can you tell when croutons have gone stale?
- Why does your nose always itch, when you have both of your hands in a sink full of soapy water?
- Why don’t people keep rye bread and scotch tape in the liquor cabinet?
- If they have pictures of missing children on cartons of milk, why don’t they have pictures of missing transvestites on cartons of half and half?
- If you have a bottle of Viagra that’s more than a year old, are the pills impotent?
- Have you ever tried writing a list of ten things, but the tenth thing is always the hardest one to come up with? Oh, wait a minute. There it is. Never mind.
So, there you have ten things for you to ponder. Have a good time pondering (just don’t let your mother catch you.)