Sexual Barometer Test

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I abhor falsity; first in me then in others. Yet, our entire existence is based upon a false premise. We say on thing and do another. We pretend to be happy when we are obviously unsettled, disheveled and discontent. So much deceptiveness invades every segment of our lives so as to cause a gap large enough in our everyday lives to drive a mac diesel truck through. Bottom line: we are phony! We pretend to know what we are doing but don’t have a clue. We say we do what we love and love what we do and yet we are forever looking over our shoulders or out the corner of our eyes for something better.

We are such utterly dissatisfied mealy mouthed individuals we spend hours polishing our faces, shining our cars, and planting flowers in our yards as a means to prove we are content. In actuality, all those contrived efforts do nothing but accent the emptiness we feel. We are superficial vehicles who work tirelessly to convince ourselves otherwise by engaging in conversations that validate, purport, or secure our sacredly held highly thought of positions? Instead of inventing meaningless shallow activities to fill spaces of restlessness, we need be asking what I am really seeking. What do I honestly need? Who am I, and more importantly, what am I doing on the planet Earth?

Nothing that we do really fulfills us. IF it did, we would not constantly create and fuel the ever increasing chaos which pervades our lives. We would support, hail and administer to others favorably without the hint of jealousy, animosity or envy which rides piggy back on the subtle statements we make when conversing with them. Most especially IF they apparently have been granted more success than we think they should have entertained for the amount of effort put forth. In other words, we constantly judge, measure, criticize, condemn and comment on every achievement received in the other person’s life (who we are involved with) without relent.

What is so ironic is the morose fact that we say we care about these people. Ha! Care how? When we continue to bad mouth, belittle, gossip and bemoan the successes attained by them IF we have not seen the same measure in our own lives. Why? Because we are not living the life we truly want to aspire and commit our talents. We are hiding behind the mask of superiority, morality or an arbitrarily sanctioned ‘goodness.’ It makes us sick to the bones but we continue to maintain the ‘status’ quo/numbed relationship. We have an image to uphold, remember? But, for one minute IF we could but let go, lighten up, release that pre-supposed (do or die) ‘label’ of who we think we are and who we are trying to convince others we are for the real passionate life of sexual vitality and creative fun we so crave, our lives would suddenly transform into magical scenes of transcendent bliss!

Interested in digging beneath the surface of superficial veneer? Let’s play a little esoteric MODE of Cosmic Therapy game. (Just for entertainment) It’s called the A Train. Board Up and Follow the Unknown Destination.

Out of this limited A word list: what is the first word that most appeals to you? Put a star beside that particular word. Then, afterwards, pick out three more words in sequential order of importance. After completing that task, pick the word that least appeals to you. Write it down, as well. You should by now have 5 words on your paper. (Leave space between the words) Write them down:

Ø Agreement, Acknowledgment, Appreciation, Adoration

Ø Acceptance, Acquisition, Accountability, Anticipation

Ø Avoidance, Authority, Authorship, Adeptness

Ø Assistance, Approval, Acclimate, Award

Ø Autocracy, Autograph, Audition, Argument

Ø Attainment, Attendance, Attraction, Assurance

Ø Attachment, Association, Assets, Assertion

Ø Aspiration, Apology, Ambition, Allowance

Ø Affair, Advice, Adjustment, Action

Ø Accomplishment, Ability, Accent, Awareness

Make note of this list (meaning from which lines you chose your particular words) for I shall add further insight later on in this article.

Without adding any further interpretation or elaboration on the words you have chosen, write down the first song that comes to your mind. Write down at least 6 words out of the song. Stop. And, say them aloud, with feeling. Have you actualized any of these words in your life? Now, send your attention and energy to your feet. Where, when, how, and in what position are your feet planted this moment? [Literally: do you have shoes on; if so, what color and style are they?] Your feet are the most reliable barometer of truth registering your degree of unprocessed issues possess.

You can see nothing beyond the current relationship you maintain with the condition of your feet. How do they feel? What do they look like? The clear cut truth of your entire life is revealed through the state of your feet. Sound ridiculous? It’s far from it. Your feet know things you’ll never be aware. They are able to take each and every encounter unmonitored. They will stand in the midst of any whirlwind that spins about you. They will take you to the specific places you need to be. They will halt in circumstances your soul wants to experience. Never doubt the position of your feet! Be still in whatever circumstance you find yourself in and accept the realization of the sublime unfolding itself. The feet will move without recommendation, approval or consent from you. Trust them. They KNOW where, how, when, why, who and for what purpose they move.

Your soul demands raw unexpressed experimental recognition and through the experience of that “yet to be ventured into” event ‘feet placement’ realization – you actualize liberty. Is that a self-centered self absorbed, self interested quest? Absolutely! Is it genuinely unobtrusively daringly expressively viably the depth and breath of sensual longing in which your soul’s quest for birth was created. Because you are totally incapable of processing the multitude of emotional episodes that occur in the run of a day, your feet absorb the edge of intensity off of them for you so that you are able to carry on.

The visible unbarred evidence of the capitulation of the day’s events are absorbed through your feet and replayed in signs, symbols and pictures at night in dreams. These confrontations are food (feast) for the soul. When one is deprived of these encounters, the soul withers and dies. To deny the soul of these awkward and nameless situations (those ones that leave you confused, bewildered and apparently self denigrating) stifles, cripples and stunts the soul’s expression. You need and WANT these turbulent events though you lie by trying to color them. Especially the ones that involve morality and sexual encounters!

You ask for the soul to show itself and then when it does you question the messenger and the message. It arrives via disguised in unrest and ambivalence; that’s the real reason you are so miserable but you don’t understand the play or the player. . When discord, sexual ambivalence, infidelity issues, disdain and disagreement, trouble and malady, sickness and an outright rigorous display of egotistic attitude shows itself, don’t be fooled. This is the Earth experience your soul so craves as uncultivated soil to be toiled. THIS IS THAT opportunity of Divine growth and exaltation. To work to cover it up or expel it is False!

Ask yourself: did the relationship, conversation or confrontation occur naturally without being forced or staged, if so, the soul was responsible! No amount of prayerful preparation can offset, delay or postpone or color the soul’s invitation to experience. To erroneously think that you can overcome the soul’s intent by sheer will power is surely to evoke more of its disguised sexual purity in gut wrenching situations. The same goes for all of your lustful encounters. If at ANY time it is forced, full of unnatural effort, felt as a chore or obligation or duty or strain you are nullifying its affect. Spontaneous passion is real and necessary.

You can not nor will you ever see realization or enlightenment happen (occur) by order or on deand. It comes like a thief in the night when you least expect it. When you thoroughly believe you are a million miles away from it. If you can recognize the scene or anticipate its appearance you have missed it. When you think you see it; it is not present! You must continually feed yourself on unexplained (most often, painful unexplained, supposedly guilt ridden, remorseful situations/experiences)

No one can do it for you. The assimilation process of soul food [tempting sexual liaisons]takes place in the individual alone. You (each person) must devour his/her own precarious food in totally unprepared/unexpected ways.

In the beginning of the article you took a test. Now we shall disclose some pertinent information regarding masquerading motivations.

There were ten precise categories from which you were able to select words. Each category means something relevant to your sensual/sexual artistic state of mind and body.

From 1 through 10 there were 4 A words to choose from. Let us first dissect the categories. If you chose any word from the category:

1. You are unduly restless, bored, agitated and disgruntled with your present physical shape. Attraction means everything. Stop talking about it and do something productive.Business success is directly linked to how you feel about your state of health. You don’t do very well acting as if it’s alright with you. It’s not!

2. You are secretly carrying on an affair either viably or actively in mind. Sexual activity will lead you to the real artistic talent you need to express. Eliminate guilt.

3. You are smothering the person whom you are involved with. You are whining, complaining and nagging far too much. Ever heard of the word ‘bitch’?

4. You are ready to leave and/or have already packed your bags. The situation is unbearable and you know it. Stop lying to yourself. It’s not personal. Space?

5. Now is the time to divert your energy in school, studying,reading or travel. Curb your appetite for drugs, food and alcohol so that you can find authentic pleasure.

6. You are ready for a different kind of commitment, marriage or your desperately need to express your genuine desire for a home, roots and stable relationship of communicative satisfying relevance.

7. You are separated from your true definitive sexual nature. Come to terms with the excellent erotic passion you possess. You’re gonna do what? Conceal nothing!

8. Trying to hard to control the outcome; let it be. Need to relax. Excessive worry/doubt is causing you not to be able to sleep which fuels unresolved anger.

9. Get your mind off of financial affairs. So what it the relationship/deal/score doesn’t turn out the way you plan? Another one is just around the corner. You’re far too suspicious and resentful. Get out of the past.

10. Turn the tables over. You are being so fake in your relationship and interactions. Stop the incessant mockery. You can’t stand the shit, why are you pretending like you do?

Next for the 5 words in sequential order. the number one word with the star which appealed to you the most:

#1 Embodies your mother and the current relationship you have/had with her. (Spatial influence)

#2 Represents your business/job/ profession/career.

#3 Characterizes your partner/mate/lover/wife/husband (think about that!)

#4 Determines Unresolved Issues with Father/father figure

#5 Indicates Most cherished goal/idea of success or cherished unfulfilled dream.

Remember: It’s just a MODE of Cosmic Therapy Esoteric Game;
“Don’t Mean a Thing if it Aint Got That Swing!” The song I chose, incidentally.


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