With so many singles trying their luck in singles sites on the internet, it is important to remember that placing ads on these sites can be both productive and rewarding as well as time consuming and frustrating. So many times, doing so can lead to disappointment and heartbreak. With these simple guidelines, you can minimize the disappointment that is so common when you sign up at an online dating site.
- Be Realistic – Having unrealistic expectations can put you in a position where what you experience falls short of what you had hoped would happen. Many times people expect to find their idea of “perfect love”. Relationships take time and work. What one person may want out of love is oftentimes different than what another person expects. True love can only be found when two people give it time and let the relationship grow of its own accord. Online dating sites can be a positive experience, but only if you have the right expectations when it comes to dating in general.
- Be Specific – When writing your profile, be sure to take the time to write down everything that you are interested in, what your lifestyle is like and what qualities in a mate you that feel are important. Be thorough when describing your interests, hobbies and what you like to do for fun. Some of the forms on online dating sites can be very lengthy, but investing the time to fill them out completely can yield amazing results. Being specific can take a lot of self examination, so you should be willing to do that.
- Be Honest – Don’t make statements about yourself that aren’t true. This can only lead to disappointment and rejection. Don’t mislead others by being dishonest about your values and your appearance. This can only set you up for feeling bad about yourself.
- Use a RECENT Picture – So many times people upload old pictures of themselves and even pictures of someone other than themselves for their profiles. Consider how the other person would feel if they met you only to discover that you look nothing like your photo.
- Meet Your Contacts In a Public Place – Don’t rush into meeting them until you have taken the time to correspond with one another and get to know them. When the time comes to actually meet, make sure to do so in a public place such as a coffee shop, a restaurant or even in a library. Avoid giving out your address and personal information until you have had time to get to know them.
- Beware of “Falling in Love” Online – It is unrealistic to be in love with someone you have never met. There are a lot of people who misrepresent themselves on singles sites. If someone you meet on a singles site professes that they have fallen in love with you right away, nine times out of ten, they are not being honest with you or themselves.
- Don’t Expect a Specific End Result – It is foolish to expect a relationship to lead to lead to love or marriage in order to be successful. Being friends first is very important in any relationship. Many times, people who use singles sites expect them to be a short cut to love. There is no such thing. Love is like a plant. It will never flourish if you keep jerking it out of the soil to inspects the roots. Just keep nurturing it and “watering” it and it will grow in the way that it is meant to grow.
- Don’t Expect Someone to Rescue You – Relationships are simply that – relationships. No one can expect love to save you. To do so is only running away from yourself. It is unfair to expect your partner to “make” you happy. A successful relationship will provide an environment where both parties can allow their own inner joy to bloom.
- Don’t Be Afraid To Ask Questions – Ask specific questions about the other person and what they are interested in, their expectations and their lifestyles and personality traits. Ask often and in different ways to determine whether or not their answers are consistent and jive with what they have written in their profiles. By doing so you can determine whether the other person is not “conning” you and possibly even fooling themselves.
Singles sites do, however, have distinct advantage over meeting places such as bars and the like since you can read about the other person and what they have to say before committing yourself to going out with them. While some singles sites advertise compatibility technology, the problem is that no matter how scientific and accurate their approach might be it really just boils down to how honest everyone is about themselves. So be sure to answer any questions put to you as honestly and completely as possible.
Although the odds may seem to be against you, don’t be discouraged. Even though there may be some people who post dishonest profiles, most of the people on singles sites are sincere and truly seek to find someone to know, date and build a real and lasting relationship. By following these simple steps, you can find the mate you have longed for.