Why do we abhor falsity; first in ourselves, then in others? Could it be because we are so conditioned to desire some sort of governed security that any hint of a ‘break in that foundation’ causes in us an unsettling fear of unmentionable proportion? We strive endlessly to protect the lies we have created and surrounded for ourselves, we will do just about anything, short of murder to keep our beloved fortress in tact. We conduct our lives in such a pristine manner, trying to do things right, as close to perfect as is feasibly possible and last but not least, in synchronized order. Blah. Blah. Blah. We act as if we know what we’re doing!
What blazing verbose idiots we are. We, not only, don’t have a clue, we don’t even smell the first hint of an aroma of what is to be done with and in our unlived lives. Because we blatantly refuse to see the other side of the argument, or to be proven wrong, in addition to accepting the fact that there’s much more unseen than seen in this old world, we end up lying in spite of our best efforts to do otherwise. We continue to uphold a false front no matter how much it hurts or seems ridiculous as if our lives depended on it. We accuse others of doing the very things we despise in ourselves. In other words, “…we gag on a gnat and swallow a camel…” (Paraphrased)
If we would but consciously listen to our overused words when talking or how much we reinforce our left-over statements of memorized and familiar scenarios of importance or deflation, we would but see how fictitious we are in our everyday dealings. So how can it be any other way than we are the accused transmitters of the lies we so vehemently detest? False vehicles who work tirelessly to convince ourselves and others of a conditioned way of life we have grown so comfortable with, we simply will not be defeated. We spend countless hours engaged in monotonous meaningless conversations that either validate or secure our sacredly held positions and badly tattered worlds. No matter how isolated, uncertain, and bored we feel, we fight to the death to remain exactly as we are; miserable, mad and false.
How many countless lies do we tell when we say we are seeking for more understanding? We don’t want understanding; we want agreement, acknowledgment, appreciation, adoration, and acceptance. We want to restate our grief and/or accomplishments. We want someone to admire, respect, validate and uphold our decisions as we go on and on in an exhausting convincing dialogue with no possible resolve. However, the moment someone else disagrees with us, or solicits an unwarranted opinion, we immediately jump into a presumptuous conclusion, or worse yet, a defensive condemning demeanor. Whenever we vehemently defend our position, we are at that instant the most deceptively vain and apprehensive.
In those times of deliberate self- deception, if we can be aware enough to ask ourselves, “What is it I am covering up with these lying sentences? What is it I am trying so desperately not to hear, see or feel?” Remember: Our soul at that instant conveys a message so sublime, though the vehicle of expression is often masked and distorted. We often mistake the quest for truth and liberation as self-centered, self absorbed, self interested when not delivered in the manner we deem fit. . The lies are the veiled concepts of truth we so earnestly yearn for.
We are so vicariously slanted, embalmingly influenced and rhetorically subdued by our own soothing words of numbed self-intoxication, we miss the wisp of stark freedom that breezed by our face veiled in the words of apparent lies. We look dead into the eyes of our liberator and call him/her a coward, liar or jerk, instead. We prevent the entrance of what we are looking for because we are looking for permission to continue to stay undisturbed. In essence, the ant that crawls across our face, we wipe it away. (It bothers us.)
When will we but recognize the incognito liberator who has come to set us free from our own derisions and imposter motives? Can it be today? Yes, I say again yes! These menacing confrontations are food (feast) for the soul. When one is deprived of these encounters, the soul withers and retreats. To deny the soul these awkward, uncomfortable and reoccurring nameless situations, the ones that leave us the most confused, angry, bewildered and denigrated are the true angels in disguise. Why stifle, cripple and stunt the soul’s elaborately disguised disfigured expression? Fling open arms of accessible delight!
How ironic it is that when we ask for the soul to show itself and it does, we not only question the oblique messenger but the pertinent message, as well. He/she arrives via camouflaged in chaotic unrest and indecisive ambiguity. Discord, disdain and disagreement, trouble and malady, sickness, defeat, betrayal, set in a grand stage of a most rigorous display of egotistic attitude. The next time you find yourself in a disagreeable situation or defensive position, ask yourself: did the conversation or confrontation occur naturally without being forced or staged, and did it come out of left field exaggerated with no explanation?
Then, Alas! You will know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the incomparable sacred the soul was responsible! No amount of prayerful preparation, worry, concern, debate, excuse can offset, delay or postpone or sway the color of the soul’s insistent invitation for valid experience. The soul will gobble up your day’s authentic activities and spew out disinterested distraction. To erroneously think that you can overcome the soul’s intent by will power is surely to evoke more of its guileless purity in disguised gut wrenching situations. The same goes for all of your ulterior motives to remain fixed and unbothered.
No longer do you have to be fooled by that which so easily besets you If You will but pay attention to the obvious signs. This is the appropriate soil to be toiled. THIS IS THAT opportunity of Divine growth and exaltation. Let us stand in the midst as the gracious almighty whirlwind that spins about us. Be jubilantly still and tenaciously certain that our sacred transcendent soul unfolds its awesome declaration of ineffable release. With yet another hint of our beautiful and replenishing joyous aspect of ourselves unveiled, we are able to embrace our turbulent mysterious delirious lauded destiny with undaunted conviction.