I saw a man of a certain age on television the other day whose thinning, dyed hair was grown very long and pulled back over his scalp into a ponytail. Who was he kidding? It got me thinking that someone should form a fellowship styled on Alcoholics Anonymous called Grey Baldies Anonymous. Men like him could go to a meeting, stand up in front of the group and say: ” My name is whatever and I am bald or grey or both. ”
Let me be the first to confess. I am myself follicly challenged but I have just accepted it as an inevitable consequence of getting older. It has never caused me anguish or sleepless nights. Quite the contrary. I just think of all the advantages of being bald, such as:
- The money and time I save on visits to the barber.
- Not having to endure the same boring small talk with said barber.
- The money I save on various expensive hair products such as jells, creams, sprays, conditioners, dandruff cures, dyes, etc.
- Not having to worry about the latest hair styles or fashions.
- Being able to go outside during a gale without worrying that I will look like I’ ve been dragged through a hedge backwards.
- Being able to dry my head with one wipe of a towel after showering or swimming.
- Never having that tell-tale matted bird’ s nest style (The just woken up look)
Let’ s be honest, attempts to disguise thinning or greying hair generally don’ t work very well and fool nobody except the fool in question. There are a multitude of products out there which promise to return your lost locks of luxuriant hair or to give you back your natural hair color, but don’t fall for the hype. It’s big business and those ruthless companies involved are preying on your anxieties in order to make big bucks. Unless you are super rich and can afford a hair transplant like Sir Elton John, forget it! Even with all that money spent, can anyone honestly say Elton John’s hair looks natural?
Once, whilst on an aeroplane, I spotted a man sitting a few rows in front of me who appeared to have a dead rodent perched on his head. When the plane landed and we were all waiting to disembark, I happened to be standing right behind him. Actually, I made sure I was right behind him as my curiosity had been aroused. The rodent turned out to be an awful toupee. The color was in no way a match for his natural hair and I could clearly see a number of metal hair grips which were keeping it in place. He looked absolutely ridiculous! Didn’ t he have a wife or even a mirror to tell him the truth?
Another time I saw a man in a department store who had a low parting across the back of his head, almost at the nape of the neck. He had grown what remained of his wiry hair very long and then combed it forward and pasted it with jell or superglue onto his bald pate! I had a job not to burst out laughing as I followed him around the store. I wasn’t the only one to notice him either. He had his family with him too!Did none of them have the courage to tell him he was a laughing stock?
Come on guys, please don’t become objects of ridicule! Having read this article, have a good honest look at yourself in the mirror or ask a loved one to be brutally frank and tell you the truth . Once you have finally admitted to yourself that you are going grey or bald or both, you will start to accept it and feel comfortable with it.