Dating and Loving a Black Woman – Relationship Advice for Men

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Black women want a man that is masculine. That means no whining, whimpering, pouting or acting a fool when you don’t get your way. You do not wear more jewelry than your lady does.  Your hair is not longer than hers either.  You DO have muscles. You DO NOT have man-boobs. You refuse to wear unisex clothing or define yourself as “metro sexual.”  Your voice is not high and squeaky. An added plus is neatly trimmed hair on your body or face.  You treat your woman like a lady and are courteous and gentlemanly to her at all times.  You open doors, you pull out chairs and you pay for dates.

Black women want a man they can respect. That means you are honorable, sincere, trustworthy, and a person she admires.  You work hard and she thinks you are the greatest guy in the world, at least in the top 5.  When a woman is in love, she longs to feel that no other man can hold a candle to her guy. She doesn’t need you to tell her what to do like her father, but she still looks up to you in many ways and respects your opinions, lifestyle, behavior and thought processes.

Black women want a man they can trust. That means no matter how bad things may hurt, she can count on you to always tell her the unadulterated and complete truth.  She knows that you express yourself with sincerity and honesty.  You have proven yourself to be a man of your word so that she feels confident when you tell her something, that is how it is or how it will be. That trust in you is KEY.  And once you damage it, the 100% open hearted, no holds barred love she has for you is also injured.

Black women want a playmate.  A man that can be silly with her, make her laugh, is full of surprises. The two of you share secret looks and secret giggles, even in a crowd.  When things are awful she knows her man can find the humor in the situation and make everyone around relax and laugh with him.

Black women want a man that can be Daddy. Not in the literal sense, but every woman wants a cuddle, a kiss on the forehead, and an “it will be all right baby!” from her man every now and then. We enjoy that sense of “being taken care of” though that need not be taken literally nor focus solely on financial caretaking.  You give her a hug when she cuts her finger, as you carefully administer first aid and place a Band-Aid on her wound. 

Taking care of your woman means you meet her needs emotionally, mentally, sexually, psychologically and perhaps financially at times too (like if she is on maternity leave and cannot work while her body heals from childbirth).

Black women want a guy with something to talk about besides cars, sports and work.  Black women are not necessarily attracted to the best looking guy (by male standards), have you noticed that?  Look at pop music diva Janet Jackson and her self-proclaimed soul mate Jermaine Dupree, or Beyonce and Jay-Z for a perfect example!  Black women are most attracted to a guy that has the sexual connection and mental allure she is seeking.

This most often has to do with a man’s verbal skills and ability to use words to stimulate her mind. Shy, quiet guys usually don’t have much to say and black women find this boring. Watch some of the “player” types and how they work.  Observe their witty banter, engaging jokes, humorous stories. They ask women for their opinion, they jump around and talk about lots of different subjects which all work together to keep a woman’s minds engaged.

Females are very auditory creatures, and we enjoy HEARING words and voices and enjoy talking and communicating. When men can adjust their behavior and get on the female wavelength, black women respond positively. That is why a guy that may be (by other guy’s standards) not that good looking is able to get ALL the women. He talks. He makes women laugh.  Hot black women have a great time with him and enjoy being around him because he is NEVER boring.

Black women want a man they  think is attractive. This standard varies from woman to woman, but if you are clean, dressed appropriately for your age and physique, well groomed, and present yourself with confidence, she will see you as an attractive guy. If you are HOT, SEXY, DA BOMB, etc. well, that is just icing on the cake. Everyone should do whatever they can to look their best and stay in great physical shape.

Black women want a man that is romantic and attentive. Even if we have been with you 47 years, we still want you to court and woo us every now and then.  Single guys: keep your eyes open and your attention focused on your target woman. Notice things about her – things she does and says and wears and wants.  Boost her confidence with your belief in her abilities.  Remind your new woman of why you were attracted to her and find her fascinating and are excited about getting to know her.

If you are already happily coupled, keep doing the things you did to get her with regards to time, attention, and flattery… and you will keep your woman happy forever.

Black women want a man that is strong. You don’t want a Sistah to perceive you to be “too” nice. Guys that are “too nice” bend over backwards to please.  Many men I talk to have a hard time differentiating between a “nice guy” and a doormat.  But black women can tell the difference and don’t want the sappy doormat guy, not matter how nicely he treats her.  Men need to speak up and put a woman in check if she crosses boundaries!  If you don’t voice your opinions or desires and are overly accommodating, black women don’t see you as NICE, they see you as WEAK.

Black women want to look up to their man, admire his masculinity, and know that he is not going to take much (if any) mess from them or anyone else. He may smile and indulge her occasionally, but she knows that is just for now and enjoys it tremendously because he “let her” get away with something.

Now if you can incorporate this advice into your way of relating to black women, be respectful to her and treat her like a lady, you will be in the front of the crowd! You’ll inspire a woman’s respect, passion, and love…and your single days will be over.


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