The reason why so many of us are unhappy today is because of our inability to let go of all things old. Everyone has had to deal with a painful situation when someone they trusted and deeply cared for hurt them; knowingly or unknowingly. So what are we going to do about it now? Sure, it’s easy to say “forget and forgive” but I know, and so do most of the others that it isn’t that easy to do either of those.
We usually forgive the ones we love because we know deep in our hearts that we need them in our lives. But do we really forget the incident? Or truly forgive them for that matter? Probably not, these hurtful memories have a tendency to hide away in a far corner of our heart and they suddenly spring up during an argument. We bring up the incident during an argument at a later stage, starting with the whole blame game again.
What good is it going to do to us? The only thing that can happen through this kind of behavior is hurt. Yes, we hurt ourselves when we keep these small issues hidden away in our heart, constantly being reminded of these trivial events. If we do not discuss the issue with those concerned when they occur and keep it inside us, it has the ability to slowly turn our thoughts bitter. They generate the feelings of anger and revenge in us, polluting our relationship with the ones we care about.
All of this can be easily avoided. Don’t pretend that everything is OK when it isn’t. Talk about your feelings clearly when you are hurt, it would be impossible for the other person to know what you are going through otherwise. If you are angry, show your anger right at that moment; don’t let it all pile up inside you. But whatever you have to say, say at right that moment; and never mention it again. Deal with your issues as they spring up, make peace with whatever you have to and let go of all the other things.
That is the only way to truly forgive and forget. And that is the only way to minimize hurt and stay happy.