I was filling my car up with gas at Kwik Trip this afternoon, and over the loudspeakers was playing the usual motely of awful 10 year old semi popular music at far too many decibels. I was ‘fortunate’ enough to be present for the blasting of ‘Who Let the Dogs Out’ , and have sadly been walking around for the rest of the day singing that stupid song and woofing under my breath.
We all have a song like that; that one song we live in mortal terror of… avoiding it like a plague, hoping and praying we don’t accidentally stumble onto it. Because lord knows it doesn’t take much- just the tiniest snippet, and we’re off. Well, as the saying goes, misery loves company. So for those unfortunate enough to cross paths with this article, here is a list of the 20 worst of these songs. Enjoy…
The Baha Men “Who Let The Dogs Out”
As I said, misery loves company. HA!
Fountains of Wayne “Stacie’s Mom”
I somehow feel like less of a man when I catch myself singing this.
Dexy’s Midnight Runners “Come on Eileen”
This song is everything that sucked about the 80’s.
Wild Cherry “Play That Funky Music White Boy”
I would rather not. And I would rather you didn’t, either.
Salt N Peppa “Let’s Talk About Sex”
Makes me want to do anything but.
Aqua “I’m a Barbie Girl”
You don’t feel like less than a man if you sing this… you <u>are</u> less than a man.
This one makes you want to dry hump something. Fast.
Spice Girls “Wannabe”
I would like to categorically flip the whole country of England the bird for this one.
Starship “We Built This City on Rock and Roll”
You built this city on pop dribble. Damn you for it.
Avril Lavigne “Sk8er Boi”
Thanks to my 9 year old daughter, this one gets renewed for me every day or so.
Beastie Boys “Girls”
To do the dishes, to do the laundry. Always lands me on the couch. Why does my wife not understand that I’m just a victim here?
Nothing like standing in an elevator mumbling about what a loser you are.
Puddle of Mud “She F***ing Hates Me”
Always winds up in your head at the last time in the world you want to drop an F bomb.
Kevin Rudolph “Welcome to the World”
Welcome to my mute button.
Outkast “Bombs Over Baghdad”
I can’t even think as fast as these two rap. In fact, I can’t tell you one single line from this song other than the title. Doesn’t stop me from singing that one line over and over and over…
Eiffel 65 “Blue”
This may be the worst song ever written. And the most brain piercing.
Toni Basil “Hey Mickey”
Don’t need to say anything here.
Black Eyed Peas “Boom Boom Pow”
I ‘m so 3008 you so 2000 and late…. I don’t even know what the hell that means. Boom Boom Boom Boom Boom Boom Boom Aaaaaahhhhh!
Lady Gaga “Poker Face”
Hate is a strong word…. I hate Lady Gaga.
Another on that I’m pretty sure doesn’t make a lick of sense, but it will probably live forever.
Well, if you’re still here, you’re obviously a glutton for punishment. I have guaranteed myself weeks of auditory misery… hopefully it’s been fun for you as well….