Ashton Kutcher has “Punk’d,” and while that provided some entertainment, it’s gotten a bit old. Instead, here’s a list of five celebrities we’d like to prank – from the Jonas brothers meeting their predecessors in the ring to A-Roid getting a dose of “reality,” let the pranks begin
1. The Jonas Brothers
What I’d do: Prank call from an MTV network executive pitching the latest band of brothers in a real-life Celebrity Deathmatch face-off with Hanson, the 1990s version of the Jonas Brothers. Isaac, Taylor and Zac Hanson have signed on for this WWE-inspired Brotherly Love match-up. Kevin, Joe and Nick Jonas would compete against the elder brothers in a series of moves: best guitar solo, highest high note and most metrosexual outfit.
2. Miley Cyrus
What I’d do: Send a server to her residence to deliver a document notifying the teen starlet that her request to legally change her name to Hannah Montana has been received and accepted pending her appearance at the courthouse with a 1,000-word essay on why this name change will not confuse the masses more than they already are about the differences between her and her Disney Channel character.
3. Britney Spears
What I’d do: Hire a Kevin Federline impersonator who calls Brit Brit begging for her to take him back. His reasoning would include that his last album flopped, he can’t get laid and is running out of money. Basically explaining why he married her in the first place. And if that doesn’t work, use the kids as barter.
4. Paris Hilton
Show up at the hotel heiress’ door as the president of the Razzie Awards with her three Golden Raspberry Awards that she collected for worst actress in “The Hottie and the Nottie,” worst supporting actress for “Repo! The Genetic Opera” and the prize for worst screen couple for “Hottie.” Have a photographer present as well and ask the “actress” to pose for the camera with her awards and say a few words of acceptance.
5. Alex Rodriguez
What I’d do: Send a letter, certified mail of course, from Major League Baseball.
Dear Mr. Rodriguez,
After careful and much consideration, Major League Baseball executives have decided to publicly announce our intention to refrain from investigating into your alleged steroid use, circa 2003, and announce a new policy: Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.
Effective April 1, 2009, MLB will no longer be testing its players – for anything, including the use of performance-enhancing drugs such as steroids.
It is the new belief of the league that players should continue to improve their overall performance by any means necessary, including anabolic steroids.
With that said, the league would like to contact your cousin about being commissioned, off the record, by the MLB as a provider of substances including testosterone and Primobolan. Also, do you still have Jose Canseco’s contact information? He isn’t returning our calls.