Depression – Face of Self-Denial

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Perhaps you are experiencing some apparent or residual anger, depression, sadness because someone in your life bothers you in some irresolvable way. The fact is: getting mad at him or her will not resolve your anger but merely increase it. Revenge never rewards the avenger! The sole reason you are angry is because you want something from the person. Yes. That’s right. Whether it is love, acceptance, validation, support, encouragement, apology or attention, your own personal needs are interfering with your relationship.

On the other hand it may be that you want him/her to achieve something you feel would make a definable difference in his/her life. Maybe you think IF either he/she would do this or that, it would make him/her happier or more productive or involved; but, can’t you see that is still wanting something? You are so identified with the other, your subliminal messages are flooding the conversation. In order to relieve the pressure from the both of you, you could invest a little time in evaluating your need for such domination and control. You can’t possibly LOVE someone; you want, need or desire something from. You may not think of it in these terms, but nonetheless, the fact remains: you are reluctant “to get off the back” of the person you SAY you care so much about. {And, It don’t matter IF you weigh 100 pounds or 500, after a while you become dog gone heavy!}

Although you may not be consciously aware of how detrimental and viciously usurping what you do and say to the other really is, {because you are the one doing and saying it} a new course of direction is needed. {You’ve been riding that donkey too long} Fresh air is always welcome after a house has been shut up. Not only have you shut up the house, bolted the windows and barred the font door, you have rented a coffin and chosen to lie down in it. See, whenever you TRY to control another, you end up being the one controlled. It’s kind of suffocating operating in that sort of mode. {For You and the other} It’s no way to live. It’s certainly no fun and quite draining.

What you could do is to silently say to yourself: (Aloud would be much more effective)

“I will release my incessant need to interfere, influence, coerce or demand. I will not interpret your indifference as a frontal attack on me. From this day forward, I will not sacrifice my natural integrity for you. I will put forth a vested interest in discovering what’s really going on inside of me instead of looking to solve problems, I have invented, as belonging to you. In other words, I will take myself back and by doing so, release the constricted hold I maintain on you.  I will live my life without asking for the validation or approval I feel I need from you. I will seek to find ‘it’,{Much needed artistic release/expression} within myself  while at the same time I learn to let you be. I will no longer criticize, condemn, manipulate or bargain with you by withholding affection, attention or support. No matter what it is you choose to do with your life, I will back off. In addition to my being able to release you from the prison I have caged both of us in, I will allow myself the freedom  to not feel guilty, responsible or remorseful for any of the ‘supposed’ acts of disloyalty, disrespect and disinterest I perceive your having conducted against me. On the same token, IF I have secretly thought, felt, or acted inappropriately to you, I release me of all regret. REGRET is indeed the prayer of fools which serves no productive or uplifting purpose. Whether you continue to live with me or not, I will not do another thing to please you simply to maintain some sort of security I feel I need by having you by my side. And, If, by choosing to stay with you, I continue to reject myself I must cease immediately the ‘whining’ and ‘pining’ of how wrong you have done me. I will acknowledge I, as well as you are here, by choice and for far more reasons than either one of us could ever dream up. Furthermore, whether you decide to stay or go, I know that I have to live with me without anger towards you which I have not been able to do.”

If you practice saying these words for 30 days, consistently, with no added anger or hostility, opening your heart and mind to receive the liberating power contained within, genuine exalted authentic freedom from ingrained sadness and depression will begin to dissolve.

What has occurred inadvertently, without rhyme or reason: you have denied your true face and tried to exchange it for another. In doing this, you have invoked a depression of sorts. Every single person alive has an artistic face of which will not be denied.. When a suppressive motive sets in, {by trying to run/influence another person’s life} you feel the burden of guilt and sorrow. IT is not your place, authority, right or duty to guide another into or toward anything. Life is pleasure. But, not everyone operates from it. It requires a great amount of courage, fortitude and resolution. {A certain amount of ruthlessness is helpful, too} One must face snide remarks and constant belittling and embarrassment while in pursuit of his/her innermost pleasure filled artistic expression.

The incessant mocking words that are often  most cruel, verbally demeaning and direct, surprisingly come from within. Being courageous involves “Looking Like’ you are self-absorbed, selfish and self-interested. This type of valor will never be applauded from people on the outside. If you need praise and appreciation for your evolving attempt as an artist of any true measure, forget it. This egoistic drive will destroy your inner cause to be free, resulting in being tied up to, by and from outer demands. . Do not discuss these things with other people. Work on them silently. Isn’t it written somewhere, “…do these type things (prayer) in secret in your closet”?

The ultimate reward offered in authentic self-expression, mere words can’t utter. Artistic expression in its freest unrestricted, unrestrained portrayal is some pretty heady stuff. In order to set the “caged” artist free, you must first stop being concerned with what others think of you. Caring what others think you ought to do is the same bondage you’ve grown so comfortable with inflicting on others.  Carve these words in your heart: In all actuality you have never been cheated, abandoned, rejected, discouraged, disappointed or depressed in your entire life. “Yeah! Right”, you may respond. But, without hesitation or explanation, the primary basis of everything that you will ever construct from this moment forth will be based solely upon that one premise alone. It is the truest Cosmic Insight you can ever open up to. IN a nut shell it is the Cosmic Therapy you so desire!  “Those that have ears let them hear.” YOU, the genuine soulful artist, summons you to :”Stop evading/avoiding; show up for your life.”

Negativity has served its purpose and now must be disposed of permanently. You cannot remain negative and produce authentically. Stop badmouthing the elements which make up your colorful world! Every event, no matter how it appears in your life, whether it appears as a writhing devil or glorified angel is what you have called into existence to work upon/with. Art is the ever on going process of inner refrain.  It’s not the result you’re after but the edifying struggle(resolve) involved in the journey. Don’t ever conform. It’s all about what feels good to you. If it feels good then carry on. Don’t stop to ask another to agree with you. And, don’t invite another to partake of your specific pleasure. Pleasure is selective and coy. It must be singularly sought and enjoyed. Never forget, people only do what they want to do and feels good to them, too no matter what they profess. Stop with your constant denial of self pleasure. You aint’ winning no brownie points! Resistance is so exhausting and aging. Give it up. Can you still jump up from a sitting position? Why not? Cease with any amount of justifying, apologizing, excusing or defending, then and only then, will you be able to walk on water!


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