It is a technique used with in the family to get a member to feel obligated in a way to keep the person in check and may be used in order to keep a family in gear but it could be perverted beyond the management level into something sinister. When a woman fears reprisal because she stated her opposition to a choice or if she is reprimanded for having talked to a waiter there is something wrong with the relationship. The person could use help if she does not see that the name of the game is cintrol and that the man behind the control booth is pushing her buttons to her detriment.
A woman seeks counselling because she is afraid of being beaten. All she did was talk to a male friend and there is nothing wrong in having male friends when you are married. There is something wrong when constant suspicion causes the man to follow her whenever she goes out alone to meet a friend and then asks her at home why she went out with that person and not someone else. In the beginning one may see this as a lack of security on the part of the guy wanting more attention to himself perhaps but after a while if there intimidation involved or the man makes comments doubting the friendships she makes gradually he is trying to cut her relationships off. Gradually he is playing his control game in the highest order and the woman deserves to be respected for her choices.
If a woman can see some of the signs mentioned above like constant suspicion or being followed and questioned incessantly and yet she cannot get her guy to turn around and face himself squarely on the matter, than she should seek professional help. One game that may be apart of the control is that the man admits to having this perversity and yet asks her to be his watchdog and keep him from being doubtful and disrespectful. That is chocolate covered control as I see it, with the man fully aware that now he is able to manipulate his wife into being his personal adviser, to satisfy his needs. She is left feeling very self-conscious for no good reason and this is a very good technique of ruining another person’s self-confidence. He is threatened by her self-confidence and that is not healthy.