Relationships and deception: What counts as cheating

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Cheating can be something as simple as getting into a long conversation about sex, nudity and everything associated with it-or the sex act itself. For those in relationships, hugging somebody of the opposite sex is not necessarily cheating if the hands are above the waist. But touching and caressing bums and stroking just north of the equator can be construed as cheating. In a fast paced, cyberspace world, the definition of cheating has broadened somewhat to include explicit emails, or emails that have a hint of innuendo. Talking about sex and sexuality while conferring with somebody of the opposite gender in person, over the telephone or by email can be considered cheating.

If one is in a committed relationship, it certainly is okay to look and even fantasize. But when that line is crossed with conversations even tinged with sexuality, it can lead to far more quite easily. For example, say it’s a woman talking to her boyfriend’s best friend. Suddenly she says to him how good he looks in a bathing suit. It may seem innocent and non-deceptive on the surface. But suddenly a door has been opened for her to have another possible relationship while with her boyfriend, especially if there is already some existing tension between them. Even if there is not, by openly noticing her she may already have started to walk down the path towards some kind of sexual tryst with him or others.

It’s not that people cannot comment on other people’s looks and appearances. One openly declared comment can lead to another and another. Before you know it, clothes are coming off…Openly declared comments are cheating in a sense, for the person has proclaimed their noticing of appearance to the opposite gender, instead of keeping the remarks to themselves. It opens a door that may not necessarily be closed so easily. Sexually-tinged remarks usually are not a one-way street…It can snowball into something quite explicit and very sexual.

Many men look at and watch porn while in committed relationships. In most cases it is okay. It’s a healthy release that doesn’t necessarily damage the relationship one bit. For there is no physical return of sex from two dimensional images. A lot of couples use porn to help stimulate their relationships. It’s when the porn becomes too gratuitous in a relationship that can now be considered cheating. A modicum is okay, a portion is cheating. For the fantasy becomes more of a reality for them, and they may openly seek other women (or men). A healthy fantasy is acceptable, an unhealthy one is cheating.

In the early 21st century, many relationships have changed and morphed. But cheating is still cheating, even if it is still subtle. Fortunately, many who do cross the line do step back. A good relationship is sometimes a rare commodity. Many people do realize that, even if the relationship is open and subjected to other partners. At the end of the day, even that doesn’t last. Either they stay with each other or move on to their sensual delights. The waters may be murky in understanding this, but become clear when one peers deeply into it.


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