Why would some one lie to you? To make themselves appear more successful. To avoid being embarrassed. To be in control of a situation. To hide something they did or did not do. Whatever the reason, being lied to, in my opinion, is hurtful, and makes me feel like “they” think i’ m stupid and it really disgusts me, so I have learned these tricks to at least give me a warning for what I am looking for, THE LIAR.
- Step 1
Physical Signs- This is the easiest tale-tell way of determining if the subject is lying: *Crossed arms and legs, *playing with hair, *perspiration on the brow (when the temperature outside is not hot), *more blinking, or eye positioning (particularly up and to the right). *If you are questioning a person, they will leave a suggestive subtle hint they are lying by coughing, scratching, tap feet etc. while answering a question.
Vocal signs- This subject may seem an easy avenue of determining a liar, but when people are under pressure, nervousness kicks in and so they may act out of the ordinary. In this case, determining if you are being deceived is harder, but here are some signs to look for: *Providing more information and specifics than is necessary for answering a question, *inconsistencies in what is being shared, *stalling conversation, *Making answers sound like the subject is going in circles, for example, repeating the same ideas several times instead of moving forward with the conversation, *unusual voice fluctuations, *using too many filler words such as “um” or “you know.”
More signs- Limited hand movement, slouching posture, avoids physical contact (particularly in spouses) placing barriers between themselves and you, *fidgeting.
Emotional signs- *Being extremely defensive…now this one is tricky because people who are being accused of something they did not do initially act defensive, but then rational thinking will kick in and the person will want to stay to clear his or her name. Of course if that person is not being accused of anything, being defensive would not be a sign of deceitfulness. *A person who would normally act level headed for the most part will become a snappy person, and will remain that way until a lie becomes truth. *One more tale-tell sign you are being lied to, especially from a loved one, is when the person being accused, or the liar, tries to turn the tables on you; or tries to convince you that you are not a reliable person, and tries to make you feel like “maybe YOUR the liar”.
Tips & Warnings
Using your instinct, although not always reliable, trust them anyway
Control your emotions, do not let the accusations fly, until you are sure
You may not be able to tell initially if you are being lied to the first time so try asking the same question(s) differently, or at another time.
If you are in a relationship that is based on lies, consider this….once a liar always a liar until you dig into the subjects reasoning for lying. I would suggest therapy, nothing permanent, but this sure does beat being lied to or even cheated on. Thanks for reading, and God Bless…