Should one tell his/her partner about his/her past affairs

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I think the biggest mistake one can make, while in a current relationship with somebody else, to tell the one they’re with about their past affairs. It certainly is not going to help a current relationship by reminding your current partner about your past sexual encounters. All you are going to do is clearly implant that image into your current partner’s mind. In the end, it can only be counterproductive to a new and blossoming relationship to remind your partner in it about things that happened in the past. It’s sort of like an unwritten law in most relationships to suddenly start talking about the old ones.

Certainly, in conversations, past romances can come up. It certainly is not wrong to talk a bit about the past affairs, but in different context and kept to a minimum. A lot of people in current relationships are going to feel that the past ones are being thrown into their face. It is a delicate subject that should be approached carefully and cautiously. In most cases, avoided altogether. It certainly is understandable if the couple have been together a long time and maybe a casual remark comes up about a previous romance. But even with durability and strength in a long-term relationship, it still should be approached carefully, or even avoided in most cases. Your past is past…memories like that should be kept to the individual and not shared with the current partner.

Dwelling on previous affairs, in an open dialogue with your partner, can and does end up weakening the foundations of the relationship one is presently in. It doesn’t mean that it is a totally taboo subject, but a subject that certainly is not advantageous to be talked about. It’s an image that most of us don’t want to see again and again in a sad, repeating loop. Especially, with many relationships on shaky ground, throwing in another curve ball is only going to cause far more structural damage to the current one. If one gets too hung up on past affairs, the person could find themselves losing a current one that far more easily. Sadly enough, the odds are that the past boyfriends/girlfriends may not even want to speak to them.

Build on a strong foundation with a new partner by letting the past go. After all, also trying to act macho, controlling…or a woman who has options is only going to set your life back immeasurably. Build on a new, strong and vibrant relationship….After all, who knows where it will take you.

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