When I Get To Heaven. Eve and I Will Have A Talk

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If your a Christian or anyone that’s read the bible you know the story of Adam and Eve. We all know who caused them to get cast out from the Garden of Eden. Yep Eve it was all her fault, I swear to god if the snake wasn’t so tempting to her she wouldn’t tried the forbidden fruit.

And where was Adam during the time his wife was being tempted by this snake (the devil), probably behind some bush reading a leaf news while taking a crap. Or probably sitting by a pond watching two animals go at it (first porn ever done.) No thought in the world where his wife was, or who was trying to get his tail around his woman. Nope his only thought probably was what a perfect day to just sit around doing nothing.

Maybe because Eve was only told by Adam not to touch the fruit is why she didn’t listen. Some huge hand needed to come out of the sky and shake his finger in front of her face and say, “BITCH, don’t touch that forbidden fruit.” Maybe that would of gotten it across her mind that, that tree was a huge no no and something bad would happen. NO God being man (probably) thought a woman would listen to a man. HAHAHA, even though Eve was made in his image; God sure didn’t know how a woman thought. Women hardly ever listen to a man, some women listen but majority only half listen; just like men.

Now you would think when Eve took that first bite and suddenly she’s zapped with all this knowledge of sin and so forth that she would of been like OH SHIT and tried to spit it out. OH NO being emptied headed woman that she was for a tad few minutes after taking that bite she skipped over to Adam looking all sexy with the wind blowing in her hair, her jugs jiggling as she ran.

Adam was so memorized by the sight that it didn’t even register what Eve was saying about the fruit she ate or all the strange things that happen afterwards. Probably all he was thinking was, “DAMN I’m gonna get a piece of that.” So of course as her lips are moving and he’s biting right into that fruit, nothing is registering in his head what she’s saying. No, doesn’t even take a look at whats in his hand, doesn’t even pause. OH NO he went right for the fruit probably thinking, “If I eat this thing maybe she’ll shut up and give me some later tonight.”

Of course Eves not even taking notice that he’s just nodding his head, saying yeah, yep, okay, while munching away on the fruit.

I mean where the hell was Adam? Isn’t he suppose to be watching Eve, keeping his woman in line, making sure she didn’t mess up. Isn’t a wife suppose to obey her husband, so where was Adam to make sure his wife shut up and did what she was told.

NO he didn’t. So guess what instead of just Eve getting kicked out of Eden, where God could of made a new woman for Adam. Probably one that would listen and not listen to a huge smooth talking snake. OH NO he had to eat the fruit too.

So since Eve got them both throw out. And since she was the first one to eat the fruit, she got the worse out of the deal. Now she had to bleed each month, have a painful birth, and so forth.

You know what I could so do without the period, the cramping, the mood swings. When I talk about mood swings I am talking about going from the gentle kind me to the evil witch that is flying through the sky zapping people into mice. Do I even need to go into the pain of giving birth. HELL NO!!

So, as I said when I go to heaven; Eve and I are going to have a long, long, long talk about her stupidity and the cost it put on woman.

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