Sadly all schools have them; Cliques. A group of people that have something in common and mingle among themselves. You have the preps, jocks, geeks, nerds, cheerleaders, band geeks, choir, and etc. Usually a few among these cliques will be friends with people outside their cliques. Friendships are find, but when it comes to dating that’s a whole different story.
Usually the jocks date jocks or the cheerleaders, the goths date the goths, the hippies date the hippies and so forth. Some dear to date outside their circle of friends, but the dare sometimes pay a price that sooner or later ends the relationship. The price is being teased, closed out from your friends, and much other things till the couple can no longer handle the teasing and break up. Or they hold out and stay together, but the lather of the two is that the couple usually breaks up. Sad but true.
Once you leave high school you enter into the working world, or go to community school, or a university, or you work and go to school. Either way you will either march on into a new clique of friends or find your place in the world, or both. Either way you can choose to follow your clique or toe the line. Soon enough though you will find who are your real friends and who’s just there to be in the circle. Once that is found, you will see cliques differently, you will see that they are nothing more than what people think. And usually those people are close minded from accepting people for who they are and not what they do, who’s parents make the most or so forth.
Now when I was in high school, what clique was I your wondering. I was what you called second hand goth, basically what you see as mild goth today. I wore spiked dog collars, a biker leather jacket, combat boots with black leggings with a catholic school skirt. Purple hair and yes even the dark make up.
It wasn’t till my senior year that I started to linger outside my clique to become friends with the hippies, preps, jocks, and yes some druggies. No, I never did drugs, I was as straight edge (a person who didn’t do drugs, that’s what it was called in the late 90’s.) My senior was an eye opener to see that people aren’t who you think they might be from their looks. You truly need to step back and let the book (the person) open up before you can really decide if this person is worth getting to know. But I still lingered away from the geeks and nerds. Those were total social killers to hang with.
Little did I know the joke would later be on me. Four years out of high school I was to meet my husband. In high school one of my friends mentioned about me dating the person who is now my husband. I couldn’t even see a possibility of us being together back than.
Your wondering what was my husband like back then. He wore high water pants (they were regular pants but the legs of the pants ended about ankle area.) Greasy hair, tight shirts. He use to wear pop bottle glasses. He was also about 120lbs and 6 ft tall. He was in all terms a Geek.
He was a very nice person back than, spoke his mind, but if you were a person he liked you were respected by him. But because of how he looked and his social standing back than I couldn’t step that far out of my cliques circle.
But as I said four years later him and I were to meet again. We were in some sense to meet for a blind date. The night before I looked through my year book to have a guess of what I was going to meet the next day. As I looked at the year book all I could think was, “What did I get myself into.” That was my first thought, my second thought was, “Who cares how he looks. What matters is how he treats me.” So, I went to bed wondering what the next day held for me.
We were to meet in the middle of the mall. When I saw him coming towards me all I could think was, “DAMN!! He changed.” Yes, he was still the geek in some sense, but something about him turned on all my green lights saying he is worth my time to get to know. That day he asked to hold my hand, opened doors for me, helped me when I thought something was in my eye. When it came for us to end our blind date and go to night college classes, he walked me to my car. He didn’t try to kiss me, he gave me a hug, and promised that he would call me that night. I didn’t think he would, I thought I would hear from him a few days later, but in fact he did call me that night and we talked for a couple hours.
From there our friendship blossomed. Why didn’t I start dating him right way you may ask. I had a year ago or so ago gotten out of a bad relationship. So, I decided before him and I jumped into a relationship that I wanted a month to get to know him all over again. We had talked and mingled a few times in high school but nothing that could call a friendship of any form. He had no problem and understood where I was coming from.
For that month every night that he could come over because of college. (The funny part is that we found out that our colleges were 5 minutes apart. So in between classes when we could, we would meet for lunch.) As I was saying so the nights he couldn’t come over he would call me and we would talk for a couple hours. On the days he could he would come over to my house for a couple hours.
Unlike most couples through that time of getting to know each other again. We talked about what we were looking for in a relationship, what our thoughts were on marriage, children, finances, religion, and etc. I know a lot of couples don’t talk about these things even before marriage. Maybe if they did they would have an idea of what the other person really wanted from their future; maybe divorce would lessen among couples, but that’s a different story.
When that month was up, we had a double date with another couple. We ended up heading over to the other couples boyfriends house to watch movies. As were sitting on the couch snuggling, he leaned into my ear whispered, “Will you be my girlfriend.” I of course said yes.
Later on in our dating I found out that he had, had a crush on me all through high school. But he was so use to rejection that he didn’t think of even asking me. He kept his crush even after high school, but he felt that he had lost his chances of possibly dating me. Little did he know that he would end up with his dream woman.
Little did I know I would end up marrying the geek that I wouldn’t date in high school due to a circle of people that I thought were my friends. Only a few among that circle do I remain friends with. I married the Geek who turned out to be my Prince Charming.
So the moral is that if your in high school, don’t judge people by how they dress or who they hang with. Get to know them, because who knows that goth or prep that you know your friends will tease you about if you date them; could end up to be your future spouse.