How to Heal from Past Pain

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Are things that happened to you in the past still causing you hurt and pain? If you’re having trouble moving on after a broken relationship, a betrayal, or anything else that has broken your heart, learn why you need to feel, not think, in order to get past the anger and pain.

1. Feeling something, anything, allows you to move through it – thinking keeps you stuck.

  • Either the energy is above the head or below it. You want the energy to be below the neck – in the heart area.
  • You can only FEEL when you are centered in the heart.
  • If you stay in your head and intellectually try to figure this stuff out, you will always stay stuck.

2. Regardless of what happened, how hard you tried, some part of you will always feel like you have failed.

  • We cry for the dreams that don’t come true.
  • It is only natural to feel a sense of loss and disappointment.
  • When you allow yourself the time to grieve, you gradually stop beating yourself up.

3. Honor whatever feelings come up. They belong to you.

  • Feelings are neither right nor wrong. They just are.
  • Whatever comes up belongs to you. Don’t project unpleasant feelings onto your partner. Accept responsibility. Your feelings are your feelings!
  • When you honor your feelings, you honor the human process of learning and growing. You honor your process.

4. Nothing is either all good or all bad – Do not make it all bad because you are hurt.

  • You never would have been there in the first place if it was all bad.
  • All relationships are a mix of the good and the bad. When the bad outweighs the good, then we leave.
  • It takes a brave and honest person not to completely trash the relationship once you have decided to leave. Don’t do that – It is a reflection of you!

5. Sit quietly and invite the feelings in for tea.

  • We ALL need quiet time after we have left a relationship.
  • The worst thing to do is to overlap or immediately get into another relationship.
  • It takes time for buried feelings to rise to the surface. Give yourself that time.
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