If you came from my generation, your parents were the first to learn how to actually talk to their pre-teen or teens about sex. Ah, sex the word that is thrown around so much today that’s it seems like nothing more than a hacky sack, such as the words, “I love you.” I feel that teens have watched, heard, seen, too many things about sex that its nothing more than hearing someone talk about pancakes.
Its sad how a few generations ago, The Baby-boomers Generation, their parents couldn’t even think about talking about sex with their teen, instead they would hand them some book or pamphlets; that was their way of “talking” about sex. Than Generation Y were born and parents were unsure how to talk to their teens about sex, thus; videos about sex education were made,produced, and used. Some were cartoons, some used real life people, and some were black and white drawings of people. Parents when they talked to their teens either gave to much, to little, or just the right about of information.
Than Generation Z were born. Parents now knew a great amount of information about sex and how to freely talk about it. Some still were unsure how to start the conversation, even how to converse about it, or how to end the conversation. Some knew the answers to the questions that were asked but unsure if they should be answered or not. While other parents openly answered the questions.
Yet, some where along the way the concept of what sex means, how it changes a person, and their lives, was lost in translation. Sex came something you did to get it over with, to just do it like everyone else, or to keep your boyfriend or girlfriend. When did something become something so trivial. Sex for most teens has become nothing more than making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Why? I am unsure why. But sex isn’t something that’s simply a word, act, or something to get it over with. It’s something deeper, more spiritual, its something within you that changes you. Yes, you are still the same person on the outside, sometimes mentally, sometimes inward. But something does change, its something mental, you have emotionally and mentally stepped into new step of adulthood. Manytimes teens aren’t ready for this, especially when the relationship comes to a end due to differences, relationship issues, or because one of the people in the relationship only wanted sex; nothing more.
How does a person handle it, when they find out the person they loved, only wanted them for sex; nothing more. The person feels used, tossed aside, sometimes their self worth dissolves before them. They are confused, frustrated, and depressed to find that they gave their virginity too didn’t respect them or love them as much as they thought.
Other times the teenager starts to think as sex as nothing more than sex. That is when problems start. Due to thinking in this matter, teens will have sex with whoever they choose. Many times the other persons feelings aren’t taken into consideration, and their emotional well-being is damaged. Thus, the cycle is continued.
Parents really need to reinforce that sex isn’t simply sex and if your going to do it use protection. Yes, protection is importation and should always be used when it comes to sex and oral sex. But parents need to dive deeper into the emotional, physical, physiological issues that it can cause. Too many parents think, “Teens will be teens.” Okay, so what! That doesn’t give the teen the right to just go out and have sex because they were in the moment.
Now what happens when the parents find out that their teenager is about to become a parents. Some parents handle the situation very nicely. While other parents freak, flip, or kick out their teen. Kicking out your teenager isn’t going to solve the pregnancy, it won’t magically cause the daughter to no longer be pregnant or the young boy to no longer be a father. Other parents might go to the extreme which later causes them to lost both their child and grandchild.
How should a parent handle the situation? When your teen comes to tell you that she is pregnant or he is about to become a father, sit back, remember to breath. Let them tell you, let them cry, let them turn to for comfort, because they are going to have a very tough road ahead of them. Their life will no longer be the same, they will have more challenges ahead of them, than normal teenagers will.
Take a day to absorb the information, call a friend to talk to them, get the feed back. Even see if there are some helplines so that you can talk to someone who can give you information. Wait till you are fully calmed down before talking to your teenager about the situation. Right now isn’t a time they need an angry parents yelling at them, yes they know you are angry, but right now they need a calm parent to help them.
Parents please when it comes time to have the “Big Talk” with your teenager, take time to cover all areas of sex, how it can hurt people, how it can hurt your teen. Talk about the risks, don’t glaze over the risks, because glazing them will not in anyway help them. Be up front when your teenager asks you a question. Most of all let them know that sex isn’t just sex.