Life after UAE identity

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Operator: – Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your.

Customer: ‘Hello, can I order….’

Operator: ‘Can I have your multi UAE identity card number first, Sir?’

Customer:’ It’s eh… hold… …On…88986135610204 9998-45-54610′

Operator: ‘OK… you’re… Mr George, you’re calling from 1401 Al Mascot Building, Money Street.  Your home number is 02-414-9851, your office 673-7662 and your mobile is 010-899-2457.

Which number are you calling from now Sir?’

Customer: ‘Home!  How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator:’ We are connected to The System, Sir’

Customer: ‘May I order your Seafood Pizza…’

Operator: ‘That’s not a good idea, Sir’

Customer: ‘How come?’

Operator: ‘According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level, Sir’

Customer: ‘what?!… What do you recommend then?’

Operator: ‘Try our Low Fat Hooking Meet Pizza. You’ll like it’

Customer: ‘How do you know for sure?’

Operator
: ‘You borrowed a book entitled ‘Popular Hooking Dishes’ from the Cultural Foundation Library last week, Sir’

Customer: ‘OK I give up… Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?’

Operator: ‘That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is Dollar 185.00’

Customer
: ‘Can I pay by credit card?’

Operator: ‘I’m afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank Dollar 57,855.87 since October last year.  That’s not including the late payment charges on                     your Bank Loan, Sir.’

Customer
: ‘I guess I have to run to the ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives’

Operator: ‘you can’t Sir. Based on the records, you’ve reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today’

Customer: ‘never mind just send the pizzas, I’ll have the cash ready. How long is it going to take anyway?’

Operator
: ‘About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can’t wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle. .’

Customer: ‘What!’

Operator: ‘According to the details in system, you own a Scooter…registration number 1123…’

Customer: ’oops’

Operator: ‘Is there anything else Sir?’

Customer: ‘Nothing… by the way… aren’t you giving me those 3 free bottles of Coke as advertised?’

Operator: ‘We normally would, Sir, but based on your records you’re also diabetic…. … ‘

Customer:’#$$^%&$@$%^*Scolding operator in other language!!!!!! ! …

Operator: ‘Better watch your language, Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman…?’

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